Learning new ways to connect with your inner self. Finding peace within and igniting the fire inside of you.
Wednesday, July 15, 2020
Vulnerability; Why It's Important
I've been discussing the importance of ego, pride, and I just thought the perfect ingredient to add to a delicious salad was of course the dressing. Now let's jump right into it because I have a lot to say. Vulnerability, ahh don't we all love to feel this way ?! Lol I'm kidding guys, but seriously have you ever been in a situation where the only thing that could possibly save a relationship, or your position in something was to be vulnerable?
Let those guards down and just discuss what's been going with you. If you can think of a time where you were placed in this situation, how was the outcome? Was the relationship saved, did your boss give you one more shot even though you showed up to work late due to therapy appointments in the morning?
When we can put ourselves in a vulnerable position, folks I'm not saying its easy nor comfortable, but doesn't the outcome usually turn out in our favor? People can understand you at a deeper level when we're able to turn off our ego and pride for the moment, and discuss what's really going on behind the mask.
Now that I'm pregnant, I'm in a much more vulnerable position than I ever have been. I struggled with trying to find the balance between my ego and vulnerability for a long time, due to the fact that I had trust issues. Having trust issues gives your mind the okay to put up unnecessary walls and allows no one to come into your world on a deeper level.
I struggled with making the right friends, and when I mean "right friends" I mean the ones who have your best interest at heart, and will always try and guide you on the right path. I know ultimately we decide which path to take and, how long we struggle, but when you have healthy people in your life, its a lot easier and motivating to stay on your righteous path.
In my teenage years, I was the "floater" and gravitated towards anyone, the band people, jocks, theater, you name it. I always liked that because you get to know all types of personalities. Everyones mindset was different and that always intrigued me. Yet, the people I really gravitated towards, they weren't the best choice as my mom had always warned me. They all came from broken homes, abusive and toxic family line, and a lot of them, unfortunately, got into under-age drinking.
I myself tried my first sip of alcohol at a very young age, at a party to fit in, and ended up getting so intoxicated, I fell and sliced my whole knee open, only for my mom to find me in such disarray and curse me up a storm all the way home. She always asked me why I would involve myself with others that portrayed such reckless behavior. Since I was broken at the time, and simply wanted to fit in, that's exactly what I had attracted into my world.
Years passed and my mom had gotten sick, I knew right away something wasn't right, and for two years I lived in such a vulnerable state knowing that any moment would be my last with her. I would cry every day, I feared death more than I ever have before and questioned my whole reality. Now looking back that's exactly what I needed. I needed a dramatic change in my life in order to change my perception and how I responded to the outside world.
My inside world was broken, I went through periods where I would close myself off for weeks, be defensive about everything, and then weeks where I would cry and let out all my pain. It was my body's way of communicating with me to let go.
I never wanted to show the world my true side because I was afraid to be rejected and get hurt again by others. I feel a lot of people can relate to that as well. When we've hardened ourselves for years, things are not as beautiful as they once were, or we don't see any value. Whether it's our ego that gets in the way, the conditioning of "you need to be tough, don't cry" that stemmed from childhood, we lose sight of our vulnerability, and that's when we see relationships failing.
Vulnerability is an important trait to have because we can have more meaningful relationships with one another, we can listen more effectively and communication would never be misinterpreted and even if it did, I feel like due to an understanding of one's feeling, we could always get to a common ground. Now I'm not a professional at any of this, this is just coming from personal experiences and how my vulnerability has been a saving grace to my life.
Balance is key in all of our lives, and just like I mentioned keeping our ego and pride in check, we need to be conscious about our vulnerability as well. In my next blog, I will be sharing some tips on how we can tap into our vulnerable side, but I always want to point out why having a balance between pride and, being in a vulnerable state is important.
We need to always have pride in our life. we need to be proud of our accomplishments, and our pride allows us to shoot for more. It gets us hungry to keep going in the morning. Now add in some vulnerability and, you are allowing yourself to connect and empathize with others, and that equals one happy party.
Remember too! Always be conscious of who you put yourself around, because people that I like to call vampires, will smell the vulnerability in you and feed off of it. That's why it's imperative to have your ego, pride, and vulnerability in check, and not allow one or the other to control your reality.
"Vulnerability is the only bridge to build connection."
Feel free to reach out if you would like more insight, have questions, or comment below!
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