For the last 11 days, I have been on vacation with my baby and my little baby and had the most amazing time! Chicago is such a lovely place and I suggest you all visit! When I was there and let's just say someone called my phone or, we needed something downstairs from the hotel management, Id always asks Pablo to do it for me. I was in this stage where I immediately got anxiety over answering a phone call, setting up a job interview, or just saying no to people. I kept thinking about my past because when I was younger I had so much anxiety when dealing with others that my mom had always made me order dinner over the phone anytime we delivered, or go to the doctors by myself.
Funny when I am anticipating something, a phone call, an interview, I overthink it a million times in my head, and then I fear I'll start stuttering so I just give up. I realized my insecurities were knawing at me once again. Now I have to laugh at myself because how is it that I am so confident when talking with people, I was a server and a bartender for 3 years, I was doing door to door sales selling Verizon and Solar Panels and every day I was smiling with glee and you could feel my self-confidence from across the room but, see me now and I can't answer a damn phone call?!!
I can easily blame it on my pregnancy, I have been a bit brain foggy for the past two months now so maybe I don't want to mess up my words or forget something but, I had to think to myself what is going on?!
On the plane this morning, I had decided to go back and read a few of my past blog posts to get some insight and motivation from myself, yes myself because people we don't need to go to anyone else for answers because deep down we all know what we are capable of. Don't get me wrong, seek advice from others, but don't you realize half the time you decide to just follow your gut?! I know that's me the majority of the time.
Now when I was reading my blogs, I all of a sudden started feeling like the confident and excited Kseniya when she writes her blogs and nods her head when she writes something super inspirational lol. I realized I wasn't going to let myself become insecure or allow myself to miss out on more interview phone calls just because the fear of stuttering was in the back of my head. I had to be that Kseniya that loved to talk to people and wasn't afraid to be assertive when needed.
I had to recognize my insecurity, look in its eyes, and say "you don't control me." Because let's face it, people, when we let our insecurities get the best of us, I'm sure we all have missed out on some pretty awesome opportunities if we had just made that right move, or talked to that one person. Opportunities are all around us but when they're right there in your face, we can't let that little monkey brain of doubt to overpower.
Insecurity can easily control our lives but we need to have the willpower to beat it. Let's say you've never been in a gym before but, you're body is literally screaming at you to hit some weights, but you're scared to be looked at or judged, but you can't allow that fear to take hold. Most people don't care what you're doing unless you're hogging a machine, and 50 percent are feeling the exact same way!! But I tell you once you face that fear of insecurity you'll be feeling like a badass each time you walk out of that gym.
My best piece of advice and this is just a personal opinion, if you want more tips on this topic, I advise you our lovely friend google, friends and family that have your best interest, or a life coach, mentor. From all of my personal experiences when it came to beating the insecurities out of me, I had to recognize the power they had over me. I had to look at all of the times I suffered or was left out of opportunities because of that little monkey brain telling me I'm not good enough.
Thinking about what could've been if I just sucked up my fear and just did it, where I would be or where it could have led me. I had to get mad at that part of myself that didn't believe I was enough or confident, whatever it was at that time, I had to get angry and think if I continue to allow my insecurities to get the best of me, I will forever be stuck and who wants to feel that.
Recognizing your insecurities and picking at them, spending time on why you have them, and where they have led you down in life, will allow you to break the invisible chain that is still holding them there. Guys, please write down a list of pros and cons of your insecurities, and I tell you once you see it on paper, you will be able to tackle them one by one.
Insecurities are all good to have for a time because it shows you that you can learn from them, and allows you to transform yourself into a better version so, there is a little bit of a plus on having insecurities. Just think if we didn't have them, how we would learn? How would we able to help others beat their insecurities?
Recognize your insecurities but remember we can beat out of it! Think about any insecurities you might have or are feeling, ask yourself why they are there and what is there purpose. You have the power to change yourself, so start each day by saying kind and loving affirmations to yourself and working on the flaws you'd like to get rid of. Nothing is ever impossible!
"If you're waiting until you feel talented enough to make it, you'll never make it."
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