First, let me start off by defining the word Ego. Ego - The "I" or self of any person as thinking, feeling and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thoughts... self-esteem or self-image; feelings.
Now that we all have an understanding of what Ego is, let me just dive right into this one. I'm sure all of you have heard the term ego before, or have used it in a sentence such as "that man has such an ego, he's not hearing a word that I say."
When I say hear, I mean to understand, it's one thing to listen to reply when having a conversation with another, but when we listen to understand, we lose one's ego and fully commit to understanding where the other is coming from. Everyone has an ego, we all know that but why is it important to quiet it down?
Well first let me say, when you live in a self-absorbed way of life, you may not have a close circle, and a lot of people will not want to be around you. If all you think about is yourself, whos going to want to put with that? In order to have a nurturing, healthy relationship, we must lose our ego so we can see viewpoints from the other individual and show compassion and empathy. Now let me be clear, you have to be selective in who you bring into your close circle, but that's up to you to decide.
Ego is your enemy in most cases but it can be healthy in certain circumstances. Let me first explain why our egos can work against us. Ego makes everything about you. When your ego is too big or as I say too high, we only think of ourselves and can't feel any sensitivity to other people. Having too much of ego allows us to lose the reality of what's in front and around us, and we literally only think of ourselves. Now you can call someone who has too much of an ego a narcissist but that's a whole other discussion.
Of course, when we build the ego, we definitely portray a lot of narcissistic characteristics, but not all people are at that level. The ego doesn't allow you to receive constructive criticism from your boss, friends, loved ones, etc. Ego takes all that information and makes you believe that the other person is just bringing you down when that's not the case.
I'm sure you catch my drift by now about ego, and again I'm sure you all have encountered many people who have one that's bigger than themselves, but I tell you sooner or later these people get tired of living in their own self-absorbed bubble, and eventually pop goes that big red ego balloon.
Now let's dive in on how ego can work for us. Let's say we just applied to a job that we must get. Having an ego when you walk in for your interview is beneficial because it will give you that confidence boost in order to win over the position. Now I'm not saying be fake, and then once you get the job you suddenly become a hermit, but having that ego will allow you to show why you must have it, whether it be a job you're going after, buying a house, and even in the dating scene.
Now in the dating scene, it's important to not portray too much of your ego because that is an instant turn-off. When you have compassion and are sensitive to others, and will actually listen to others and have a TWO WAY CONVERSATION! that's when you know your ego is in check!
I think its important to know when to check on and off your ego. Usually, when I'm out in public sometimes, I notice my ego is in full effect because of the way my body language is, and the way I feel when walking down the street. Back when I lived in Manhattan, my gym was not in the greatest area and, there I had to put my ego on full blast in order to protect myself from weirdos.
I always had this"don't mess with me" face and most of the time it worked! I wouldn't get bothered, but again when I'm meeting people for the first time, I try and put myself in check and turn that ego off so that I can potentially set myself up to have a genuine conversation with someone, and I've seen such a difference from when its on high blast then passionate Kseniya.
At the end of it all, it is up to you to decide whether you want to live in your egotistical world, or you will put healthy boundaries on yourself and keep it in check. I know having an ego can help you from getting hurt in situations, but then if those ugly moments never happened, how can we learn to really appreciate the good times, and allow us to take that pain and put it to good use such as helping others who have or still are struggling?
This is just my personal opinion on the matter but being vulnerable and allowing that vulnerability to flourish especially when seeking out healthy relationships to come into your life is key as well. It's up to you to decide which fate to take!
"Destroy your illusions so you can see reality. Destroy your fears so you can take risks. Destroy your ego so you can see life. "- Maxime Lagace'
No comments:
Post a Comment