Leaving Behind Your Legacy

I was listening to a motivational compilation this morning and, Zig Ziglar mentioned about leaving behind your legacy and the type of legacy you will be passing down. Funny I thought of writing this topic a few days ago, and with my busy study schedule, I haven't been able to write but it was a sign today to discuss this important subject!

For those who have been following my blog or this is your first read, I am pregnant with my first child. Since I was a child I always dreamed of one day becoming a mother, becoming his or her leader, and showing her the way throughout this journey called life. My mom and dad had done such an amazing job of raising my brother and me to become who we are today. The wisdom, teachings, and allowing us to occasionally scrape our knees had built our character and formed the young adults we are.

My mom is unfortunately not here on this earth with me anymore, but the legacy she had left behind will forever live in me. She taught me how to unconditionally love myself as well as others. She always expressed how important it was to be a leader even in uncomfortable positions and, trust in a higher power for guidance.

I struggled with her gone for years but one day I remembered that she would want me to be happy, and to keep moving forward no matter what. I refused to ever give up even when I hit my rock bottoms, but her words and wisdom had always given me the strength to push onwards. Mom was a businesswoman and a leader by nature. She was elegant with her words and knew how to speak to anyone with empathy but assertiveness.

I always looked up to my mom but now as I transition into my motherhood journey, I realized how important it was for me to set the example for not only my daughter but for myself as well. My little one won't be here until December but, I heal and prepare myself mentally and emotionally and spiritually now so that when she does come I will be prepared to tackle on new obstacles.

We're humans, we make mistakes, fall, get back up, fall again its a constant cycle in life for us to learn, but remember in those times that are tougher that is all just a never-ending learning process makes it easier and more enjoyable. I know that sounds a little cliche, I'm not saying to enjoy the falling periods in our lives, but when we look back at all mistakes, we sometimes can't help but laugh at how silly they were, or how we thought the world was going to end but we turned out okay!

I love the scene in the movie, Pocahontas when she's talking with her grandmother, who in spirit form is the Willow tree and, she's seeking advice, and grandma is telling her to follow her heart and she'll find the answers she's been looking for because, its a great representation to trust ourselves that we have the answers we are looking for. When I pass away, I want my children and grandchildren to look up in the sky, and call out to me for wisdom but, realize they already have the tools and knowledge to pursue whatever it is.

Leaving behind such a profound legacy is very important to me because I do that with my mom. I talk to her all the time, I call out to her and ask her for some wisdom, some signs that I am on the right path. I've learned to trust people who only have my best interests at heart, but to ask someone who is not physically here is remarkable. The morals and ethics they lived by while here on this earth inspire us to shape ourselves so that we leave a mark on others as well. Serving the community, helping anyone, and most importantly helping yourself is the basic tools you need in order to leave behind your mark in this world.

 Of course, we remember the not-so-positive people as well who have caused havoc to society, but remembering the ones who were not afraid to stand up for what is right, the people who helped others who were compassionate towards everyone and everything, those are the individuals we need to remember the most and, walk in their footsteps. I'm not saying be just like them, but take what you've learned from them and apply it into your life in your unique way.

My mom had such a way of talking with people, she made everyone feel comfortable and to be themselves and as a child, I saw that and wanted others to feel the same way I spoke with them. I didn't want to be exactly like my mom, because like we all do she had her flaws as well, but her inspiration and light outshined everything else.  Remember when you leave this earth, people will talk about what you have done and don't you want people to remember you by the great contributions you have made?

Think of that every day even when you're feeling down and I promise you, your mindset will start to shift! I have my moments, we all do so let's not beat ourselves up when we make mistakes or" fail" I hate that word by the way because failing is just learning.

When our child was learning how to walk and they kept falling but got right back up, we didn't call that failing to walk!? We called that learning and eventually, they learned how to walk on their two feet with no problem! Think of that analogy every time you feel like putting yourself down for in-completing your task and, you will laugh at yourself for getting upset in the first place.

We all were brought here to learn, to love, to give, and let's leave this earth knowing in our hearts we did the best we could have done. Every day after you read this...Think to yourself, what will you do differently or what other contributions will you make not only for yourself but for others? If you want to inspire others to do good things, it needs to come from you first.  Be the leader YOU know you can be!

"Legacy is not leaving something for people. It's leaving something in people." - Peter Strople

Improving Your Body Language

As my body goes through crazy changes during pregnancy, I realized I have to be more conscious of my posture! It's easy to slouch, shoulders hunched over like we look the hunchback of Notre Dame but, guys this is not a good look! Not only is it super unhealthy for your back, but its actually a sign of low self-esteem. You might re-read that twice shaking your head no, but it's very accurate. Think about it.. you're in a crappy state of mind, automatically your body will conform to how we feel on the inside.

Youll tend to slouch, your shoulders will hunch inward, almost as if you're hugging yourself, this is defense mechanism unconsciously to show others that we are closed off from the world. I'm not a doctor this is just my personal opinion, but I've spoken to many psychologists that have stated similar arguments.

When our confidence is high, were smiling from ear to ear and think were badasses, our bodies will conform to that! We will tend to keep our shoulders back, our chins up and, maintain strong eye contact with every individual we come across.  Have you ever seen someone walking down the street, the wind blowing in their hair, back is straight and they look like they want to take on the world?! That's what confidence looks like! Of course, this is just a broad spectrum of a much larger scale, but it all comes down to our body language and how we represent ourselves.

I used to work at a school a few years ago and, I used to go to work in sweats every day as there was no strict dress code. I realized a lot of people didn't want to involve themselves with me, my body language was screaming to the world" I am not approachable!" Thanks to my dad's fiance, she had expressed to me how important it was to dress casually even if you don't feel the part because it will make you appear more focused and serious about the job you are performing,(if you're not required to wear a uniform.)

 Think about it, someone who wears baggy clothes every day, their hiding something or, they're not confident in their own body so they need to cover up with sizes much larger than they actually are. I know we're all different when it comes to dressing and our own unique style, I'm not saying go out and change your whole wardrobe, but the next time you put something on, how does it make you feel?

 I'm 23 but I absolutely love wearing business clothes, the whole suit with a nice pair of heels is right up my alley! When I worked in my sales job, we were required to wear business professional before we hit the field and man I felt like such a confident and beautiful woman inside and out! Not to mention I love the sound of heels clanking on the floor walking into a room, talk about feeling the presence of a woman that's ready to take on business!

When I was forced to dress the part, I literally felt the part. I felt more confident, shoulders were back and my head held high. I had to show people that I was a woman of business and, that I took my profession very seriously. Imagine you walking into an interview back hunched, shirt, and pants wrinkles, no one will want to hire you! It all comes down to our presence and what type of energy we want to give off in this wold.

If we want to be taken seriously, we need to act and feel the part. Even if you don't feel confident yet, fake it till you make it! We can trick our brain into being comfortable in uncomfortable positions when we believe in ourself.

The next time you walk down the street, how will you portray yourself? The amazing being that you are with your head held high or, with a frown on your face!?

"A good stance and posture reflect a proper state of mind."

The 2- Minute Rule

Last night after I finished my last post, I was still feeling a bit crummy. I guess that's what comes with pregnancy and the extra hormones. Most of the time I'm happy and excited about life, and the direction it's heading, and I know I will have a bright future ahead of me, but sometimes I still can't shake off certain things, and people from my past that come to haunt me. I've been having weird vivid dreams the last few nights of people that were in my life that I let go.

It was as if the universe was telling me "don't worry I pulled them away from your life for a reason." I got emotional last night while thinking of my mom and all of a sudden I guess you can say I had some sort of revelation.

As a child when I was throwing my typical bratty tantrums, she would say "Senny you have 2 minutes to feel this way and then I'm sucking all the bad outta ya!" She would then proceed to take my arm and tickle me as if she was ripping out the sadness, or whatever negative emotion I was feeling in the moment.

My mom had used the "2-minute rule" with me up until she had passed. I will never forget how she made me feel, she had allowed me to feel whatever emotion was swirling through me and then told me after 2 minutes was up, to switch my focus on something positive.

When my daughter is old enough to go through her own little moments I will make sure to implement my own" 2-minute rule". I think its key to have little mantras like this because it's true, why be stuck in a rut for the rest of your day just because of one little moment ruined your zen?

 I'm sure you all have heard the 5 by 5 rule. " If it's not going to matter in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it."Its the same analogy my mom had implemented on me and honestly I slack in this department. It's easy to say that we are over something but hows our body language? Our facial expressions? If they're telling a different story than what we're saying its time to do some inner-work.

If you're one of the individuals who can let go of negative emotions in a reasonable time, please shoot me an email explaining how you go through with it lol. I've honestly been better when letting go of eerie emotions but lately it's like my emotions have doubled!! But from last night's little revelation moment, I will make sure to work on dealing with certain emotions by analyzing and reassuring myself that everything will be okay.  This morning I let go of all negative emotions that were related from last night, smiled, and breathed in the new day.

My advice for you all is to implement a rule of your own on how you will deal with certain things or if people are just mean to you, how you will respond to yourself and how long you will allow negative emotions to take over.

Holding yourself accountable in times like these will help you see the bigger picture. It will allow you to think about how you will respond to your outer and inner world. Will you allow yourself to have a shitty day just because old Joe over there is being a twit to you, or will you try and let it go and have a fruitful life?!

 I talk about habits in one of my other blogs, Healthy Habits and, I think it's great to form a habit of how you will respond next time you encounter a conflict. Practice being patient with yourself, and remember you're human and have feelings. You have every right to feel how you feel, but after a certain amount of time, is it still worth it to feel crappy? It's up to you to decide how long emotions will control you.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." -Buddha

3 Self-Soothing Tips When Anxiety Takes Over

This is such a good time to talk about anxiety and how we can all try and reduce the craziness of our brain since I've been feeling anxious all week! I'm currently studying for an exam and it requires a lot of patience and focus, not to mention the chapters are disgustingly long and honestly boring!I've been taking practice exams for the last few days and the constant failing has been making me feel so crappy. I had to step away from the course a few times when I noticed myself not retaining any of the information due to being so stressed out. I would step away, look myself in the mirror and repeat"you can do this, you can do this!" but even after all that self-motivation, I was still being defeated.

Today has been the only day that I have passed a practice exam, and honestly, I'm proud of myself that it seems to finally be sticking, but I noticed I was still stressed that it was only once that I passed, but stressing out will not help in any shape. Once I pass this exam, it will be well worth all of the nights I lost sleep over it, and I know I will be kicking myself in the shins for all of the days I worried about failing!!

 I'm sure we all have gone through stages of anxiety, maybe some more than others, and its totally okay, and you're not alone. I have struggled with anxiety for quite some time now and let me tell you, somedays its easier to manage, and some days, I want to pull all of my hair out because I can't stop overthinking.

I will constantly play a scene over in my head about something whether it was something I had done or said to somebody and if it's not how I was trying to relay the message, I'll stress about it all day long and go nuts. Usually, I can tell when my anxiety is flaring up due to my increased heart rate and, my mind not allowing me to focus on anything except whatever is playing in my head.

I never realized I suffered from anxiety until I started therapy and explained to her how my mind worked when I was stressed out. For me, any stressful situation or environment can trigger my anxiety immediately. I'll start becoming quiet, agitated, and eventually shut down due to all of the racing thoughts in my head. I never really learned how to get rid of it because honestly, I feel like we all will have little spurts of feeling anxious for the rest of our lives but I'm here to tell you how we can manage it before it manages us!

Here are 3 tips that have soothed me in stressful times. On a side note I am not a doctor nor a professional in mental health, these are my personal tips that have helped me manage. If any of these tips do not resonate with you, I advise you to seek a mental health counselor that can give you medical advice on this topic! Therapy has helped me in all areas in my life especially when I was at my lowest so never feel ashamed to ask for help!! Now without further a due here are 3 Self-Soothing Tips When Anxiety Takes Over:


1.  Meditation/Breathing Exercise- This is one of my favorite techniques to help me combat my mind because it allows everything to slow down for a few minutes, and allows me to become more present. Meditation or just focusing on your breathing will allow those thoughts to come and go for a period of time and, then all of a sudden you'll notice you won't be thinking about anything! You will become so present that any thoughts trying to filter through will dissipate. When meditating or just simply focusing on your breath...Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. I advise you to close your eyes because it will allow you to focus more on being present. You can as well focus on one particular thing if you're more comfortable with your eyes open but, focus your eyes on one thing as you breathe in and out.

 When I meditate I like to have some soft music playing in the background or binaural beats. Whatever genre you prefer that allows you to become more still and calm, have that playing in the background, not too loud so it becomes distracting but, just enough that you hear it throughout your whole body. Try this exercise for at least 5 minutes a day when you feel yourself losing focus or becoming stressed and, you will see the difference! If you want to try for longer periods of time I advise you to go at your own pace, but if you're a beginner try with 5 minutes a day and work your way up from there.


2. MOVE YOUR BODY!!- I notice I am more likely to become stressed when my body isn't doing anything, and I'm sitting around that's when the overthinking creeps in. When I notice thoughts start to flood my mind like a hamster on a wheel, I get up and start moving! Whether it's going for a brisk walk for 10 minutes to re-center or spending an hour at the gym and taking all that anxiety and frustration out on the weights and stair-master.

You don't have to do any of these examples but just simply getting up and walking around for a bit well help soothe your mind and place your attention somewhere else. If you have a park, beach, trails near you, nature is your best friend. Being out in nature and just admiring the beautiful surrounding will allow those thoughts to leave. Think about it, if you're distracted by something else such as waves crashing, or birds flying over your head, it's going to be a lot harder for those thoughts to control your mind.

Moving your body will not only distract those never-ending thoughts, but you will feel a lot better and not to mention more energized after a walk. Dancing is a great way to take all that energy and use it to flow throughout your entire body. Find an activity that requires you to move, and of course, you enjoy doing, and whenever you feel yourself losing it, just move it!!


3. Communicating your thoughts to loved ones/Professional- Anytime I'm stressed out and feel like I'm about to lose it, I share my thoughts with my partner and express how I'm feeling at that particular moment. Sometimes he senses my anxiety before I even express myself, but communicating with someone you care for, or a professional will help you analyze your thoughts better. By expressing whatever it is that's triggering you will allow you to have a better understanding of your thoughts. It's not healthy to have racing thoughts and to keep it to yourself. How will you ever find the solution to a problem by allowing it to control you?

Express yourself whether it's through journaling, texting, or calling up a loved one, and of course, my favorite seeking a therapist or counselor. Our loved ones have our best interest at heart, but their not designed to always find a solution that is best suited for us, so seeking someone who has a professional background in mental health, and especially pertaining to anxiety will allow you to get the answers you need and deserve. Sometimes its easier to share our thoughts with someone we have absolutely no relations with.

 Professionals have the resources and knowledge that will help you overcome this. Whether they prescribe medications that might help or, a simple plan that will help with your specific needs, follow it with an open mind and see how you feel.  Whoever you feel most comfortable sharing your thoughts with, I advise you to seek that person out and express yourself. Remember there's nothing wrong with asking for help!


Well, there you have it, folks! 3 Self-Soothing Tips When Anxiety Takes Over. Whether you chose to try and practice these tips or not, or have self-soothing outlets of your own, remember the goal is to feel better! If you decide to try out one of the tips listed above, feel free to shoot me an email on how you've progressed and are feeling.

My email is: Kseniyarussau138@gmail.com

"Smile, breathe, and go slowly."- Thich Nhat Hanh

Momma To Be Update

I always appreciate the love and views when it comes to you reading my blogs, so thank you! I noticed I get more views on my writings involving my pregnancy journey thus far, so each time I come back from the doctors I'll be blogging! Today I am 19 weeks 1 day which is equivalent to 5 months! According to Google, if you're not familiar with the weeks in a pregnancy, pregnancy lasts up to 40 weeks, a little over 9 months. They don't track your pregnancy by month but by weeks.

This morning I had a doctor's appointment to check on my little one and she's doing amazing! She weighs almost a pound already, its crazy to think! Everything else looks amazing as well! Every time the doctor sees me, he always applauds how well I've been doing in taking care of myself and my little one. I am so blessed to be healthy as for my little angel as well!

By now you can clearly see I don't have a flat tummy anymore nor does it look so bloated! I laugh because it looks like a mixture of bump and beer belly lol. I used to be so self-conscious when I first started to show because I am carrying so low! Babys' head is resting just above my uterus and her feet are right where my belly button is! The doctor said that's amazing for when I give birth, but that won't be for another 4 and a half months! I'm hoping soon, my little low bump will start to round out or as they say "pop." I was disappointed for a while because I really didn't start showing until last week.

 I follow a few pregnancy groups on Facebook and I see all these other mom-to-be with their beautiful rounded bellies, and here I am with a low belly that just looks like a huge muffin top lol! I had to learn though not to compare myself to anyone because we're all different! Some women show sooner than others, others round faster and that's perfectly okay! I had to keep reassuring myself soon I will have that rounded firm belly, but to love the process that I'm in now and not to wish it away.

Now that I'm further along, I have felt my little one move a lot! At night when Pablo's asleep, I'll talk to my baby and ask her to move for me! I try and talk to her as much as I can, mostly talking with my mind lol, but every time I think of her or ask her for a little kick, she never disappoints! Pablo has felt her kick a few times too and he's super excited, I am so grateful for the 2 of them and how we are going to be a little family in just a few months!

 I try not to waste my days by thinking of my due date but, sometimes I catch myself dreaming of how she's going to look like when she comes out, how I will feed her and play with her, and never take my eyes off of her. I already love her so much, I make sure to tell her every day! I've heard great benefits if you talk to your baby inside the womb so I try and make it a habit! I ask Pablo every morning to talk to her too because apparently at the stage that I am in, she can pick up sound and, she will recognize the voices she heard from when she was in the womb when she's finally here!

I am just so blessed and thank god every day for this miracle! I never expected my wish to become a mom would happen so soon but I always say, its God's timing not ours. I can't thank my partner enough for how much he has supported me since we first started off in this journey together till now. We have grown so much individually and as a couple and forever I am grateful for someone who is not afraid of change, and has helped me in tremendous ways!

Like I said in my last post in regards to relationships, Relationships Are Key, who you have in your corner is so important. Those people will either help you grow or stunt it. Choose people who choose you and, who are willing to work on themselves in order to become more successful, happier, whatever it is.

Thank you all who have continued to read my blogs and have wished me well. You are loved, you are divine, and you are blessed! I will continue to periodically blog about my pregnancy journey as I get further along.

"A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty."- Author Unknown

Personal Development During Quarantine

Now that we all aren't on such a restricted lockdown, and let's all pray COVID19 will soon be something of the past, I wanted to discuss the time we all had during the quarantine. Whether you took full advantage if you do not have kids or anyone to look after to sleep your days away and Netflix binge all night or to meditate, get creative in any aspect you like. Whatever you did during these long months, I hope it was beneficial.

I know for a lot of people this was a tough and anxiety-ridden time.  At the beginning of March when all of this COVID talk was up in the air, Pablo and I were in the process of moving out. I had just started training for a new job but unfortunately, they decided to cancel due to the spread of the virus.

I was so nervous wondering how we were going to pull off this move, along with if we had the necessary finances to make such a move. Thank god my anxiety didn't get too much of the best of me because everything worked out! The lovely universe always blesses me and just shows me each time to have faith and not worry!

Fast forward, we moved into a beautiful apartment and decided to lock ourselves in for a while. It was perfect timing looking back because we had a beautiful place to ourselves and a week and a half after we moved in, that's when I found out I was pregnant! I mean talking about the timing right?! But it's all in God's timing and in my book, he's the one with the plan.

Enough about me though, let's dive right in!! Before COVID happened, were you already on the self-development path? When I refer to the term personal development, I mean anything that will get you closer to reaching your goals, becoming a better person on a mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and financial level, disciplining yourself, etc.

Your definition of personal development can be different than mine in terms of how and what you do in order to accomplish your dreams but the direction you are heading is to better your life in any way. Did you listen to motivational compilation? Meditational music? Anything type of music or motivational group that will get you up from your desk, and on your way to smashing your goals!

If you weren't, and that's totally okay whatever pace you go is entirely up to you, but as long as you are bettering yourself, that's what matters the most.  During quarantine, I spoke to a few people who said they have used this time to dive deeper into their spirituality whether it be meditating more or using this space to focus solely on themselves.

I think this time was the most beneficial because it allows us not to have many distractions such as work, social life and really allows us to utilize this time to work on ourselves. We've always listened to motivational compilation every day before work, but now we listen to it more frequently and, we had listened to a 10-day program of Napoleon Hills teachings. We would have never had the time to come across such juicy information if not staying up late, binge-watching videos on Youtube lol!

Ultimately it's on you when you decide to focus on yourself and your dreams, but let me tell you, hopefully, we will never have a pandemic that requires a lockdown again, so this time could have been utilized for your benefit. I can't make you do or see anything you're not ready to, but someday if you're not already on your path to self-development, I suggest you start! and remember as well folks, it's never too late to start!

"You never fall until you stop trying."

Healthy Relationships Are Key

Today I wanted to talk about the importance of having healthy relationships in your life. Whether it be a great connection between you and your family, your partner, your kids, friends, etc. Whatever relationships that are significant in your life, ask yourself do they bring value? Are you happy when they are around? Do you help one another? The questions go on and on but I want you to just sit with these questions for a sec and think about the closest relationships you have and what each contributes to your life.

Let me start off by defining the term; Healthy Relationship- allow both partners to feel supported and connected but still feel independent.. speaking openly to one another about thoughts and feelings. Feel heard when expressing feelings. Listen to each other and compromise.  Now don't get confused, it may say partners when I looked up the meaning of healthy relationships, but in my blog today the word partner means any two people that have any type of relationship intimate or not.


I can discuss this topic all day long because I've gone through so many, healthy, unhealthy relationships just like all of you have I assume. I struggled a lot in my early years when it came to defining someone who was healthy for me whether it be dating, friendship, and family relationships. As I discuss in my other blogs sometimes,  I was adopted and struggled for a long time bonding with people. I would form a relationship and if I felt the other person and I would get too close, I would back off, become defensive, and eventually, the relationship would crumble.

 I never understood that part about myself until I was in therapy. My therapist at the time knew all about adopted children and their struggle with abandonment issues. She had told me I had separation issues as well, especially when I was younger, I would cling to my mother and if she tried to let go, I would throw a tantrum in fear of her leaving for good. For a long time, I tried and tried to form "solid" relationships only to be rejected, hurt, let down, and betrayed. I felt like me trying to work out my issues in terms of abandonment was backfiring!

Here I am trying to make friends, have connections and all I get is let down, either by the other person or my own actions. It really wasn't until my early 20's that I noticed my toxic behavior when it came to forgiving others and allowing them back into my life despite all the crap. I always thought I had so many friends, I was quite popular at work but in reality, I only had a few solid friends that were there for me.

It was hard to face the truth that not all relationships in my life were healthy, and if I were to elevate myself, I had to do some hard let going.  And not only did that go for friends but the family as well. It's hard when all you want to do is surround yourself with people no matter what, to feel apart of something, but if those people don't have your best interest at heart, its time to move on.

It took a lot of will and grace to face some people that I thought would be in my corner forever, but I knew in order to keep moving up in my world if I really loved myself and wanted what's best, I knew I had to say goodbye. Now I am all for people changing and once we see their change, slowly the relationship can start to develop again, but you have to choose those wisely as well. People may say they've changed, but it's their actions that is the changed behavior, not their words.

Now let's talk about the healthiness of our relationship with oneself. Let me ask you... Are you happy? I know that may seem very broad, but at this moment are you happy? Are you happy with what you can control such as, your emotions, actions, your words? If you honestly nodded no, its time to build a healthy relationship with yourself my friend. Remember you set the tone in all of your relationships! What I mean by that is, what you allow, how people treat you, the way they talk to you, you're setting that tone to the level of respect people have for you.

Funny enough that whole "it starts within" corny stuff, I always thought it was crap but once I got older, and realized the same pattern of toxic encounters, the lightbulb went off in my head, and realized I had allowed this energy!! I had to look myself in the mirror and start working on the relationship with myself! Every mistake I made, every guilty action I had done, I had to forgive myself for not knowing better, and allow myself to just be loved by me.

Trust me, this isn't a walk in the park, nor is it ever going to stop, but taking that initial step and holding yourself accountable for how you treated yourself and, allowing others to treat you is the way to step into a new world to build a better foundation of self-love and, let healthy people and energy flow.

Sit with yourself after reading and get honest about how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you. Think about every relationship and the value they all have. It's up to you to determine what and who you will allow being in your life. Remember you are golden, and some people may want to be apart of your world to try and steal that shine, but your ultimate fate rests with you, my friends.

"Your relationships can only be as healthy as you are."

In The Name Of Self-love

"Someone's opinion of you does not need to become your reality." This morning like every morning we start out the day with motivating compilations. Our favorite motivational speaker is Les Brown. I love Les Brown because all odds were against him since he had been born, but he didn't allow the negative influences of others and the fact he was adopted to hold him back. I can relate to Les Brown in so many ways because I could've easily let the labels that were placed on me to affect my life, and allow victimization to take over, but I decided I will never be a victim but use all of what I learned and empower others. 

The quote I chose today inspired me to write about self because only we dictate our lives, what our standards are, how we behave towards others and ourselves, the list goes on and on. What others think of you is none of your business, and anytime someone says something negative about you, and I'm not talking about in a constructive criticism way, that's a reflection of they think of themselves. No one's opinion of you should matter to you, only what you think of yourself. I know it may be hard to comprehend that, but it's true. How do you think of yourself?
When you look in the mirror, do you see a vibrant awesome being?

If those 2 questions I just asked didn't resonate with you in a positive way, I advise you to re-think how you think! How you're feeding your mind every day, how you're speaking to yourself every day. Your spirit doesn't know the difference between you talking negatively or positively, it will only manifest what you keep feeding it, so it better be good folks!

That quote inspired me to discuss the importance of always showing up for yourself in the name of self-love, and learning to become your biggest fan. We all unconsciously expect others to get us motivated, whether it's your significant others, your parents breathing down your neck about a job, you catch my drift. But how about getting up every day with a smile on your face because YOU decided today will be an amazing day to smash your goals?!

I started studying today to take a test soon and let me tell you, three hours of non-stop staring at the screen of material really wiped me out! However, I couldn't move on to the next chapter in my course until I passed the quiz. 4 failed attempts later, and still wasn't getting anywhere, so I just kept re-reading the material, writing in my notebook not to give up, and eventually, I will succeed.

 I think its the mixture of the hour of the day, I'm tired already and staring at a computer screen for countless hours isn't the best thing for your health, so I decided not to be hard on myself and finish the task tomorrow with a fresh mind! I had to literally tell myself"Tomorrow is a new day, we will succeed!" I know myself better than anyone and I know how I can get once I start something, I don't like to stop until its finished, even if it drives me to the brink of insanity, but becoming manic in performing tasks is definitely not healthy.

We tend to be our worst enemies sometimes and it needs to stop people. I'm all for raising our own standards of our work ethic, how we treat others but let's stop criticizing ourselves for the little mistakes we do. Making mistakes is how we all learn. The next time you make a mistake, instead of putting yourself down about it, thank yourself for trying and find a different way to solve whatever it is you're doing.

Remember how you treat yourself is how you allow others to treat you as well. If you don't see yourself as a worthy person, then how can someone else see you like that? It starts with you. Start each morning with loving affirmations and place them in significant areas around your house.  What comes after "I am" is up to you, but whatever you decide to write, write something genuine because you are talking about you, you almighty being!!  Even if you think what you wrote is corny at first, eventually your mind will start to believe you are worthy, you are beautiful, you are whole, I could go on giving you affirmations, but list a few that resonate with you, put them everywhere and each morning give thanks to yourself.

"We must fall in love with ourselves. I don't like myself. I'm crazy about myself."- Mae West

The Beauty Of Art

I don't know about you guys but I am such a fan of art. Any type of art whether it be visual, tactile, performance or language arts. If I had to choose my favorite, it would be visual. Visual art allows me to dig deep into myself and express how I'm feeling through colors, the intensity of the paint strokes, etc. FYI I do not paint nor am I an artist whatsoever, but when I have enjoyed my share of painting, I felt that it was a great way to express myself. The last time I went to a museum, it was The Museum of Contemporary Art in Manhattan.

Now, most people don't spend too much time looking deep into the pictures or paintings. We just admire and move on which is totally cool but, I've always been the one to spend time with each piece of art I come across, and try to discover the meaning behind the painting.

My boyfriend and I really connected over art when we went on our first date to the museum. I was super intrigued that he had brought a journal, and each painting we stopped by, he would stare in awe for a few moments, we would share our ideas behind the art piece, and then he'd write comments in his journal.

 I've never seen someone who has journaled at a museum so it was super fascinating to see that. I've always loved a museum date but, no man that I have gone with has ever connected deeply with art as much as my Pablo did and still does today.

It's disappointing that the museums are not open as of yet but, I have been trying to expand my mind in other ways such as writing my blogs, reading, and questioning my whole existence lol. My favorite paintings were the ones that looked like someone just threw some paint on a piece of paper and called it a day. I didn't know but its actually called Action Painting. I was always wondered how people got inspired to just throw some paint. Where they mad when they did it? Where they excited? I like to dig deep, and especially when it comes to viewing other people's art, I like to try and figure out their story.

Art comes in so many different shapes and sizes and so does beauty. Beauty is whatever makes you smile, that warmness in your heart and, the compassion you share with the world. Beauty and Art go hand in hand for me. Even if the painting looks very abstract, I still consider it to be beautiful because someone put their soul into it.

I've spoken to a lot of artists and they all have said that whatever masterpiece they are creating, they put everything they have into that piece, heart, and soul. My boyfriend plays the piano, classical music is his forte. Each time he plays the piano, I feel the emotions and intensity he brings while playing.  Even if he's just practicing, his playing always brings goosebumps to my skin and a smile on my face.

Whatever your definition of art is I hope it brings you joy and tranquility.

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."

Vulnerability; Why It's Important

I've been discussing the importance of ego, pride, and I just thought the perfect ingredient to add to a delicious salad was of course the dressing. Now let's jump right into it because I have a lot to say. Vulnerability, ahh don't we all love to feel this way ?! Lol I'm kidding guys, but seriously have you ever been in a situation where the only thing that could possibly save a relationship, or your position in something was to be vulnerable?

Let those guards down and just discuss what's been going with you. If you can think of a time where you were placed in this situation, how was the outcome? Was the relationship saved, did your boss give you one more shot even though you showed up to work late due to therapy appointments in the morning?

 When we can put ourselves in a vulnerable position, folks I'm not saying its easy nor comfortable, but doesn't the outcome usually turn out in our favor? People can understand you at a deeper level when we're able to turn off our ego and pride for the moment, and discuss what's really going on behind the mask.

Now that I'm pregnant, I'm in a much more vulnerable position than I ever have been. I struggled with trying to find the balance between my ego and vulnerability for a long time, due to the fact that I had trust issues. Having trust issues gives your mind the okay to put up unnecessary walls and allows no one to come into your world on a deeper level.

 I struggled with making the right friends, and when I mean "right friends" I mean the ones who have your best interest at heart, and will always try and guide you on the right path. I know ultimately we decide which path to take and, how long we struggle, but when you have healthy people in your life, its a lot easier and motivating to stay on your righteous path.

In my teenage years, I was the "floater" and gravitated towards anyone, the band people, jocks, theater, you name it. I always liked that because you get to know all types of personalities. Everyones mindset was different and that always intrigued me. Yet, the people I really gravitated towards, they weren't the best choice as my mom had always warned me. They all came from broken homes, abusive and toxic family line, and a lot of them, unfortunately, got into under-age drinking.

I myself tried my first sip of alcohol at a very young age, at a party to fit in, and ended up getting so intoxicated, I fell and sliced my whole knee open, only for my mom to find me in such disarray and curse me up a storm all the way home. She always asked me why I would involve myself with others that portrayed such reckless behavior. Since I was broken at the time, and simply wanted to fit in, that's exactly what I had attracted into my world.

Years passed and my mom had gotten sick, I knew right away something wasn't right, and for two years I lived in such a vulnerable state knowing that any moment would be my last with her. I would cry every day, I feared death more than I ever have before and questioned my whole reality. Now looking back that's exactly what I needed. I needed a dramatic change in my life in order to change my perception and how I responded to the outside world.

My inside world was broken, I went through periods where I would close myself off for weeks, be defensive about everything, and then weeks where I would cry and let out all my pain.  It was my body's way of communicating with me to let go.

I never wanted to show the world my true side because I was afraid to be rejected and get hurt again by others. I feel a lot of people can relate to that as well. When we've hardened ourselves for years, things are not as beautiful as they once were, or we don't see any value.  Whether it's our ego that gets in the way, the conditioning of "you need to be tough, don't cry" that stemmed from childhood, we lose sight of our vulnerability, and that's when we see relationships failing.

Vulnerability is an important trait to have because we can have more meaningful relationships with one another, we can listen more effectively and communication would never be misinterpreted and even if it did, I feel like due to an understanding of one's feeling, we could always get to a common ground. Now I'm not a professional at any of this, this is just coming from personal experiences and how my vulnerability has been a saving grace to my life.

Balance is key in all of our lives, and just like I mentioned keeping our ego and pride in check, we need to be conscious about our vulnerability as well. In my next blog, I will be sharing some tips on how we can tap into our vulnerable side, but I always want to point out why having a balance between pride and, being in a vulnerable state is important. 

We need to always have pride in our life. we need to be proud of our accomplishments, and our pride allows us to shoot for more. It gets us hungry to keep going in the morning. Now add in some vulnerability and, you are allowing yourself to connect and empathize with others, and that equals one happy party.

Remember too! Always be conscious of who you put yourself around, because people that I like to call vampires, will smell the vulnerability in you and feed off of it. That's why it's imperative to have your ego, pride, and vulnerability in check, and not allow one or the other to control your reality.

"Vulnerability is the only bridge to build connection."

Feel free to reach out if you would like more insight, have questions, or comment below!

Pride Is As Important As Taking A Daily Shower

In my last blog, I discussed the importance of not having an ego. For those of you who did not read my last post, basically, the ego is living in your own self-absorbed bubble, and not taking in other people's constructive criticism in a healthy way. Funny I got inspired to write about the importance of pride due to the somewhat constructive criticism comments I received in one of my FB groups.

The commenters basically had asked me why my title had been the relevancy of ego, and if I was relating that to pride. I said pride and ego go hand in hand when we really think about it, however, pride is important, and can be used in a more positive way than ego.

Let me start off by defining what pride is. Pride: a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people: a feeling of happiness that when you or someone you know does something good, difficult, etc.  Funny I always thought pride was a negative thing to have because I thought it meant you could not recognize any faults that you made due to feeling superior.

When I first connected with my boyfriend, he told me about the importance of having pride, especially in a man. Now ladies we sure need to have pride as well, all of the accomplishments, and the hard work we've done over the years, we need to be prideful of how we built our kingdom as well.

Pride is something we need to hold onto for the rest of our lives. Pride allows us to not feel sorry for the things we haven't done. I know I can relate to that feeling because I somehow always felt guilty if someone accused me of doing something to them when I know I didn't. I always apologized even when I was in the right due to feeling sympathy and not wanting to give up friendships. I had allowed people to walk all over me like a doormat.

 I didn't have pride back when I was a teenager because I felt it was selfish, but now looking back I could've and should've walked away from unhealthy relationships sooner only if I had the confidence, and pride to do so. It doesn't matter what the other person thinks of you, if you feel the need to walk away, that's your pride telling you, "let's go they don't deserve you."

Now just like the ego needs to be put in check sometimes, so does your pride. A lot of relationship issues come from not seeing the other person's point of view, and allowing yourself to become self-centered and we all know that doesn't end well when it comes to relationships. Like I mentioned in my last blog, a relationship that is a two-way connection needs to flow.

We need to listen and communicate effectively with one another if we want a lasting and most importantly healthy one. When we lose our pride and ego to a loving relationship, we allow that connection to blossom and grow into something miraculous. If something is bothering you and that significant other means a lot to you, sit down and talk it out and express how you're feeling. Change happens within people when we lose our pride and ego and reflect back on our actions and words.

Now, this can go the other way as well! Let's say you're in a toxic relationship, the other person never listens and is not compassionate to you or your feelings, that's when your pride comes into play, along with self-respect and self-love and you walk away. Knowing how to use your pride for you is key.

Have that pride to walk away from anything unhealthy and that is not serving your soul. Have that pride when you work on something that you're passionate about! People can feel the energy you put into your work, trust me! Just like ego, it's up to you to decide how you will use your pride. Will you use it for you or against it? Only one can decide such fate!

Is Ego Relevant?

First, let me start off by defining the word Ego.  Ego  - The "I" or self of any person as thinking, feeling and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thoughts... self-esteem or self-image; feelings. 

Now that we all have an understanding of what Ego is, let me just dive right into this one. I'm sure all of you have heard the term ego before, or have used it in a sentence such as "that man has such an ego, he's not hearing a word that I say."

When I say hear, I mean to understand, it's one thing to listen to reply when having a conversation with another, but when we listen to understand, we lose one's ego and fully commit to understanding where the other is coming from. Everyone has an ego, we all know that but why is it important to quiet it down?

Well first let me say, when you live in a self-absorbed way of life, you may not have a close circle, and a lot of people will not want to be around you. If all you think about is yourself, whos going to want to put with that? In order to have a nurturing, healthy relationship, we must lose our ego so we can see viewpoints from the other individual and show compassion and empathy.  Now let me be clear, you have to be selective in who you bring into your close circle, but that's up to you to decide.

Ego is your enemy in most cases but it can be healthy in certain circumstances. Let me first explain why our egos can work against us. Ego makes everything about you. When your ego is too big or as I say too high, we only think of ourselves and can't feel any sensitivity to other people. Having too much of ego allows us to lose the reality of what's in front and around us, and we literally only think of ourselves. Now you can call someone who has too much of an ego a narcissist but that's a whole other discussion.

Of course, when we build the ego, we definitely portray a lot of narcissistic characteristics, but not all people are at that level. The ego doesn't allow you to receive constructive criticism from your boss, friends, loved ones, etc. Ego takes all that information and makes you believe that the other person is just bringing you down when that's not the case.

I'm sure you catch my drift by now about ego, and again I'm sure you all have encountered many people who have one that's bigger than themselves, but I tell you sooner or later these people get tired of living in their own self-absorbed bubble, and eventually pop goes that big red ego balloon.

Now let's dive in on how ego can work for us. Let's say we just applied to a job that we must get. Having an ego when you walk in for your interview is beneficial because it will give you that confidence boost in order to win over the position.  Now I'm not saying be fake, and then once you get the job you suddenly become a hermit, but having that ego will allow you to show why you must have it, whether it be a job you're going after, buying a house, and even in the dating scene.

 Now in the dating scene, it's important to not portray too much of your ego because that is an instant turn-off. When you have compassion and are sensitive to others, and will actually listen to others and have a TWO WAY CONVERSATION! that's when you know your ego is in check!

I think its important to know when to check on and off your ego. Usually, when I'm out in public sometimes, I notice my ego is in full effect because of the way my body language is, and the way I feel when walking down the street. Back when I lived in Manhattan, my gym was not in the greatest area and, there I had to put my ego on full blast in order to protect myself from weirdos.

I always had this"don't mess with me" face and most of the time it worked! I wouldn't get bothered, but again when I'm meeting people for the first time, I try and put myself in check and turn that ego off so that I can potentially set myself up to have a genuine conversation with someone, and I've seen such a difference from when its on high blast then passionate Kseniya.

At the end of it all, it is up to you to decide whether you want to live in your egotistical world, or you will put healthy boundaries on yourself and keep it in check. I know having an ego can help you from getting hurt in situations, but then if those ugly moments never happened, how can we learn to really appreciate the good times, and allow us to take that pain and put it to good use such as helping others who have or still are struggling?

This is just my personal opinion on the matter but being vulnerable and allowing that vulnerability to flourish especially when seeking out healthy relationships to come into your life is key as well. It's up to you to decide which fate to take!

"Destroy your illusions so you can see reality. Destroy your fears so you can take risks. Destroy your ego so you can see life. "- Maxime Lagace'

It's A Girl!

On Wednesday I went to the doctors for part two of the genetic testing. When you become pregnant, doctors give you an opportunity to see if your baby will have any disabilities before the baby is born. I know a lot of women who decided to opt-out which is perfectly fine and definitely respectable. Each time I looked it up I noticed each website kept mentioning "when you know early enough you may want to get an abortion" and, I started getting emotional because just because your baby may be born with a disability doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to live, but again this is just my personal opinion.

 I worked in a school for 2 years working as a teachers assistant working one on one with children who had autism, and might I say it was very challenging but super rewarding seeing the smiles on these children's faces kept me going. But I do understand how hard it is to take care of a child with special needs so whatever choice pregnant women decide to follow through with is their choice.

Once I took my blood test, I waited in anticipation for my ultrasound to find out the gender of my baby. We've been calling our baby bean for the last few months, so it was finally nice to be able to call our angel by the name we have given it. At first, the nurse told me they would not be able to detect since it was still early, I was thinking "huh?", just a few weeks ago I was only 15 weeks and the sonographer asked if I wanted to find out the gender but unfortunately my baby's legs were closed the whole time so I had to wait a few weeks.

 Now I am 17 weeks and I knew a lot of women who knew the gender of their baby so the impatient thought of having to wait was becoming unbearable. When the sonographer finally called me, I asked her right away if she could make a prediction. She told me she wouldn't say anything unless she was confident enough to detect.

As I laid there in excitement, she zoomed in on the legs and at first, I notice a big thing between the legs and thought "my prediction was right!! its a boy!" But then she told me it was actually the thigh bone because it was way too long to be a little wienie lol. Then all of a sudden she blurted out "Its a girl" she showed me the little hamburger that they call to describe the little baby girls' genitalia. I was so shocked! All of those old wives' tales were so wrong lol, my last few blog posts I said they were true but I guess I had been fooled!

Funny the stories share if its a girl, women will get horrible morning sickness, their beauty gets taken away, they crave sweet. Honestly, the only accurate myth was if its a girl, women will more likely lay on their right side when they sleep and, that's exactly what happened to me.  My first trimester had been such a breeze, I ended up getting more anxiety because I thought it wasn't normal not to experience morning sickness. On top of that, I had a lot of energy and worked out a ton.

When I got home, I told Pablo right away and he was happy. I know he wanted a boy first of course and I myself but, we are so happy and grateful that its a girl, and, more importantly, she is super healthy and developing right on time! I can't wait until my belly bump becomes more pronounced but I am being patient.

Now its all about the fun part, SHOPPING!! I can finally buy some cute clothes for my little princess and I am super excited! Every time I go to target I can't help but go into the baby section and admire the cute little clothes. I am blessed and so thankful that my pregnancy journey has been amazing and spiritual in so many ways thus far.

  I always do my best and stay positive because I can't afford to stress out my body and my mind. Being pregnant has really shown me how to become even more selfless. I'm not just eating, drinking even listening for myself but for my baby girl! It's so fascinating to me! I can't wait to update you guys more in the next few weeks!

What Is Your Why?

I was very fortunate growing up in a big beautiful house when I first moved to the United States with my parents and my brother. My parents had bought the house a few years before adopting us and my dad is an amazing handyman that he renovated and painted most of the house himself! Talk about impressive.

When we arrived, he had painted a beautiful yellow sun, the moon and stars in my room. It was just perfect. My parents decided to move back to Long Island due to missing the family. When we first moved back, we lived in my aunt's gorgeous house for a few years before my parents found a house.

When I first saw the house I thought "what the heck is this?" It was nothing compared to our Wisconsin home and certainly nothing like my aunts as well. It was white and dull-looking to my taste and the outside was made of stucco. For those three years before my mom decided to renovate it into her own liking, I was embarrassed to have my friends over since they all had really nice houses with a pool in the backyard.

Now looking back I feel guilty because at least we had a house for god sake! I knew what my dream house would look like all the way down the paintings on the wall. My mom always told me to work for it just like she did.

Since February Pablo and I have been looking at houses since our family will be growing soon. I've always loved the modern, minimalist look, contemporary, the house has so many names but that abstract rectangular looking houses with the huge stain glass windows, that is right up my alley!

I could talk all day about what my dream house will look like but I wanted to ask all of you, what is driving you at the moment? What are your goals? Where do you want to see yourself in 5 years? Now it's crazy, I've never been into listing a 5-year plan, my dad did that and almost all of what's been on his list, he has accomplished. I'm not saying that it isn't ideal but I guess for me, life is so unpredictable why even try?

 Manifestation and doing necessary work is one thing. That's what we've been doing to try and accomplish all of our dreams. I tell you, people, if you had read my other blogs, I discuss in a whole blog the power of manifestation and how it has worked for me thus far. But whatever route you decide to take in order to accomplish your dreams, whether it be writing out a 5-year plan or however many years, or manifesting, allowing the universe to do their part and you do yours, or both!!

I think having a purpose or a drive when it comes to making your dreams a reality will allow the process to be more exciting and fulfilling. It not only will get you motivated to get out of bed and, do the necessary requirements but, the happier you feel when doing such tasks will allow your journey to becoming more rewarding.

As I search for my dream house, or we might take the route where we design and then have someone build what we like, I think about the purpose and how awesome it feels going through the process and the fulfillment I will feel when it actually comes into fruition. You can't just love the end of the journey or goal, you need to be able to love and accept the in-between as well. Just think about a time where you reached your goal, and how hard it was sometimes to get out of bed and go after it, but now you look back, and hopefully, you appreciate yourself more for going through it 100 percent.

My drive comes from seeing how hard my dad and mom worked to get the house they wanted. They both worked their butts off and we all know hard work pays off. Their purpose was not only for themselves but, because of my brother and myself.

 Now as I am slowly reaching the goals I aspire to accomplish, I think about my precious girl on the way and Pablo, and of course the luxury of space we will have when we acquire our dream home. I think about when our families will come and visit and how comfortable and proud they will be when they stay at our house! If that doesn't get me riled up then I don't know what will, you know? That's why folks, in order to accomplish anything, please, please, PLEASE have a drive!!

I want all of you, who have not yet figured out their purpose for the next goal you want to accomplish, to come up with some. Whether it be your kids, you're currently working your butt off because you want to become rich, or you just want to live a fruitful life by yourself on your own private island, whatever it is think about what will motivate you to grind every day until you reach your goal.

Always remember "Push yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you."

Beating Insecurity

For the last 11 days, I have been on vacation with my baby and my little baby and had the most amazing time! Chicago is such a lovely place and I suggest you all visit! When I was there and let's just say someone called my phone or, we needed something downstairs from the hotel management, Id always asks Pablo to do it for me. I was in this stage where I immediately got anxiety over answering a phone call, setting up a job interview, or just saying no to people. I kept thinking about my past because when I was younger I had so much anxiety when dealing with others that my mom had always made me order dinner over the phone anytime we delivered, or go to the doctors by myself.

 Funny when I am anticipating something, a phone call, an interview, I overthink it a million times in my head, and then I fear I'll start stuttering so I just give up. I realized my insecurities were knawing at me once again. Now I have to laugh at myself because how is it that I am so confident when talking with people, I was a server and a bartender for 3 years, I was doing door to door sales selling Verizon and Solar Panels and every day I was smiling with glee and you could feel my self-confidence from across the room but, see me now and I can't answer a damn phone call?!!

 I can easily blame it on my pregnancy, I have been a bit brain foggy for the past two months now so maybe I don't want to mess up my words or forget something but, I had to think to myself what is going on?!

On the plane this morning, I had decided to go back and read a few of my past blog posts to get some insight and motivation from myself, yes myself because people we don't need to go to anyone else for answers because deep down we all know what we are capable of. Don't get me wrong, seek advice from others, but don't you realize half the time you decide to just follow your gut?! I know that's me the majority of the time.

Now when I was reading my blogs, I all of a sudden started feeling like the confident and excited Kseniya when she writes her blogs and nods her head when she writes something super inspirational lol. I realized I wasn't going to let myself become insecure or allow myself to miss out on more interview phone calls just because the fear of stuttering was in the back of my head. I had to be that Kseniya that loved to talk to people and wasn't afraid to be assertive when needed.

I had to recognize my insecurity, look in its eyes, and say "you don't control me." Because let's face it, people, when we let our insecurities get the best of us, I'm sure we all have missed out on some pretty awesome opportunities if we had just made that right move, or talked to that one person. Opportunities are all around us but when they're right there in your face, we can't let that little monkey brain of doubt to overpower.

Insecurity can easily control our lives but we need to have the willpower to beat it. Let's say you've never been in a gym before but, you're body is literally screaming at you to hit some weights, but you're scared to be looked at or judged, but you can't allow that fear to take hold. Most people don't care what you're doing unless you're hogging a machine, and 50 percent are feeling the exact same way!! But I tell you once you face that fear of insecurity you'll be feeling like a badass each time you walk out of that gym.

My best piece of advice and this is just a personal opinion, if you want more tips on this topic, I advise you our lovely friend google, friends and family that have your best interest, or a life coach, mentor.  From all of my personal experiences when it came to beating the insecurities out of me, I had to recognize the power they had over me. I had to look at all of the times I suffered or was left out of opportunities because of that little monkey brain telling me I'm not good enough.

Thinking about what could've been if I just sucked up my fear and just did it, where I would be or where it could have led me. I had to get mad at that part of myself that didn't believe I was enough or confident, whatever it was at that time, I had to get angry and think if I continue to allow my insecurities to get the best of me, I will forever be stuck and who wants to feel that.

Recognizing your insecurities and picking at them, spending time on why you have them, and where they have led you down in life, will allow you to break the invisible chain that is still holding them there. Guys, please write down a list of pros and cons of your insecurities, and I tell you once you see it on paper, you will be able to tackle them one by one.

 Insecurities are all good to have for a time because it shows you that you can learn from them, and allows you to transform yourself into a better version so, there is a little bit of a plus on having insecurities. Just think if we didn't have them, how we would learn? How would we able to help others beat their insecurities?

Recognize your insecurities but remember we can beat out of it! Think about any insecurities you might have or are feeling, ask yourself why they are there and what is there purpose. You have the power to change yourself, so start each day by saying kind and loving affirmations to yourself and working on the flaws you'd like to get rid of. Nothing is ever impossible!

"If you're waiting until you feel talented enough to make it, you'll never make it."