Raising The Bar!

 

I'm currently reading a fantastic self-development book called The Magic Of Thinking Big written by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D.  It has been giving me a fresh perspective on how to think and dream big in all areas of your life. The areas you already tackling with confidence, I applaud you for that, but how about tackling all of the areas in your life?! 

Maybe you're great in your career field, you're on fire, all of your co-workers or employees think of you as the backbone to the companies successes, but you're slacking in the relationship department, maybe you've been single for some time now and want to get out there and explore your horizons but you lack confidence. 

Well, I may not be a professional in this topic but due to my endless growth in the self-development world and just trying to become the best version of myself, I am here to give you the best advice possible! I am currently reading a chapter that involves raising your standard, how you perceive yourself, and how others perceive you. Let me ask all of you, how do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as a failure or someone who is growing and getting closer and closer to their goals? 

Take some time to reflect on how you see yourself, and if you have close friends that are not afraid to tell you what you need to hear, it may be wise to ask them how they perceive you as well. Now if they think you can improve in some areas of your life, don't get yourself all riled up just yet! The key is to listen and reflect if what their saying is true. 

I ask my partner all the time how can I improve myself, in our career, etc. Its one to thing to think we might be doing everything right, but it's another when observing from the bleachers. My partner may not have all the answers but I know when he points out things I need to work on for myself and our family, it's coming from a genuine place, and its something I needed to hear to face reality. Our perception is a lot different from others so by being perceptive and open when our loved ones or people that care for us give constructive feedback, it can be the gateway for endless improvement.  

Raising your standard may be challenging at first especially if you're someone who lacks self-confidence, or has grown up with a mindset of not feeling worthy enough but my friends, in order to gain respect with ourselves and others, that's exactly what we need to do! 

When we want to go after anything in life, whether it is a promotion at your job or asking out the girl or guy of your dreams, we need to visualize ourselves as what we want to be. We need to already play the part! Maybe you don't feel confident in the moment, but by fixing your posture, smiling wide and big, and wearing some clothes that make you feel that way, I tell you in no time you will become just that. 

Believe or not we receive the kind of treatment we think we deserve, so by raising your standard and not putting up with the bare minimum we can put our mind to achieve anything. It all starts and ends with yourself and how you feel on the inside. If you feel ugly, chances are you will export that out into the world without even realizing, and no wonder why people will think they can walk all over you, but by putting more love and respect into ourselves, we will radiate that and therefore people will start to treat you such as. I'm not saying that always happens, people project whatever they feel on the inside but by raising our standards and putting our foot down and expecting more from ourselves you will notice the difference in how people react to you.  

Have you ever noticed the confident & successful people who walk through the room, they almost immediately get the majority of everyone's respect? That's because they have demanded that for themselves and now are transmitting it into the outer world! If you're shaking your head in disbelief right now, I advise you next time you come in contact with someone who is confident or successful or even better, both you will see what I am talking about. 

Its the same terminology how people can smell the other person's fear, what you are putting out there into the world, the energy you give off will come right back to you. So if you find yourself wanting to be taken more seriously, or you want people to see you for who you really are then become clear what it is you want the world to see from you, act like it, breathe like it, every day! 

Remember my friends, it all starts with you. Think about what it is you want to see change, maybe it's your attitude, mindset, physical appearance, and then do it. Tell yourself everyday " I demand myself to become better not only for myself but for others" work on it, work on your attitude if that's what you want to see a change in, develop healthy habits, get a mentor, etc. You can only change how others perceive you by changing how you think of yourself.

 Be love and you will seek it, be kind and you will seek kindness. If you want bigger and better things to happen for you, then you need to raise how you view yourself! Now let's get to work! 

Communication Is Key

 

When I first started writing blogs I knew I wanted to write to inspire others to go out and become the best version of themselves. A lot of my posts have to do with spirituality and effortlessly transforming yourself, but as I dive more into the self-development world, I noticed I wanted to tackle some topics that will help people such as increasing confidence, the value behind a routine, etc. In my personal opinion self-development and spirituality go hand in hand.  The goal behind the two is to be a better person mainly for yourself and others so why not intertwine them both?!

For those reading my blogs who their beliefs are different from another higher power and are not into spirituality that's totally okay, but I hope to inspire you when it comes to the self-development topics I write about. Think of me as your free mentor:) Now without further a due let's jump right in! 

Think about how many times you wanted to approach someone but that little voice inside of your head held you back! Imagine if you had spoken with that person where your life might be different today. I know I have missed many chances of talking with people that I haven't seen since due to my fear of either rejection or lack of confidence. But folks in order to get by in this world, we need to communicate! We need to put ourselves out there and network. 

I just finished the book Convince Them In 90 Seconds * Or Less by Nicholas Boothman.  First thing's first, that is an excellent book if you're in the sales field, any type of business field as well as just in your everyday life. Nicholas gives you a variety of tips on how to get people to feel more comfortable around you, learning how to make a more meaningful connection in all areas of your life, work, and personal. In one segment of the book, he discusses the importance of communication.

 I don't want to give it away because I highly recommend you all read it, but in summary, communication is what lands you a lot of opportunities in your life. Networking, getting out there, and just having simple conversations with people can open so many doors for you. Learning how to effectively communicate with people with all sorts of personalities will be your key to success. Be open to any discussions and you never know what might be in store for you! 

I am both an introvert and an extrovert but more extroverted as the years pass on by. I wasn't always like this though, I shared in a few of my blogs I was very shy growing up especially around people I did not know. Sometimes I would even keep conversations very short due to my fearfulness of getting judged, as well I didn't want to say the wrong thing. I hated talking on the phone as well, forget it!

My mom always made me order food over the phone in order to combat my fear of tongue-twisting my words due to nervousness and thank you mom because now I would say communication is one of my strongest points as an individual. I put myself out there and every job since I was a teen, I have to converse with people all day every day. But my friends, it was a skill I had to learn and still learning every day. 

Maybe communication isn't one of your strongest traits or maybe it is, but the main point is communication is key in your everyday life. Think about many times you talk to people in a day, whether be at work, a hobby, or an activity you are involved in, you are conversing so much you do it unconsciously! 

 Let me make you think for a second.. when you communicate to people, whether it be someone you're close with or a potential client, how are you delivering your message? With a smile on your face or an angry tone? Is your message clear enough for the other person to understand? We might think our communication is impeccable but remember our energy places a big role in the message that we are delivering to the receiver. Next time you talk with someone, just keep what I said in mind and be aware of your tone, your energy, and your speech.

Communicating will always play an important role in your life. Remember it is the gateway to our successes, opportunities, lasting relationships, and friendships! 

"The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives."- Anthony Robbins 

3 Secret Sauce Tips When You Feel Like Giving Up

In my last blog, I shared the importance of not quitting. We have all quit something in our lives that maybe we regret now but this post is not to have you reminisce. I wanted to share with all of you my 3 secret sauce tips.  It's not easy committing to some things in our lives. Whether it's your job, sometimes your kids get under your skin, that goal you have been working on for years, whatever is that makes you want to pull out all of your hair and say "screw it' please my friends I have come to the rescue!

Now I am not a professional by any means in this department, these are just some of my personal tips that have prevented me from throwing in the towel on anything that I found myself second-guessing if I should have done in the first place. So without further a due folk's let's get started!

1. Knowing Your WHY! 
Folks it is key to know your why, more importantly having a why when it comes to committing to a goal. Ask yourself these questions, who are you doing this for? Are you doing this for yourself or your family? Why are you doing it? How will you feel once you complete your goal? How would you feel if you quit right now? Would you regret it later? Asking yourself those crucial questions when you're feeling stuck in a rut about continuing or giving up. 

Answer them honestly and if you find yourself knowing you will instantly regret giving up on your task later, save yourself that emotional pain and keep pushing forward! I tell you, working on your goals even when you feel like you've been a hamster on a wheel for some time now and not getting anywhere, you are! Small steps towards any goal or project are the best way to succeed and not give up.

Knowing why you're doing it in the first place is another important tool. If you're committing to a goal for yourself, think about the end result, you're going to feel ecstatic that you completed whatever it is you're working on! When you complete a goal, more likely you will want to keep feeling that same emotion, whatever positive feeling you get when you complete your goals, start feeling that way NOW!

2. Finding A New Direction

You've been working on a project for some time now and all of a sudden it blows up in your face. You start punching the air and cursing up a storm, you're ready to give up arent you? But let me ask you, how many times have you "failed" at something, turned that around and veered a new a direction, and come to find out your new plan was successful in whatever it was. Just think to yourself, if you never tried a different way, how would you have known it would have worked? 

 Imagine your child learning how to walk for the first time, they kept falling and stumbling and they decided "maybe this isn't for me?" Imagine how many people would not be walking today if they had that type of mentality!

 So the next time you "fail" at something just think back to when you were a little cute baby learning how to walk for the first time and tell yourself " if I could have fallen on my face 100 times back then and not give up on myself, then I certainly should not do it now!" My friends, you are not always going to get it right on the first try and that's okay! Decompress your mind the next time you are attempting something for the second, third time, and know that eventually all of the dots will connect. 

3. Patience, Patience, PATIENCE

I know how antsy I get when I have been working on something for a long time and I don't see immediate results. I have been working as an Insurance Agent for almost a month now full time and let me tell you, folks, the last few weeks have been rough. My work ethic was there, my confidence when it came to dialing increased tremendously as well as the activity but I noticed I was not making any sales yet! Boy was I getting frustrated! I told myself last week though, that everything will be okay. Even though I wasn't making sales yet, my activity was there and eventually, my hard work will pay off. I had to practice being patient with the process as well as myself. 

I know how frustrating it can be when you've been working consistently and you haven't seen the ramifications yet of your hard work but I promise you folks, when you do you will laugh at yourself for how impatient you were. Even though we don't always see the progress we're making, when we look back and notice how far we've come that's when we realize all of the small and big steps we took.  You will not see results overnight but just know each time you take a step in the right direction you are farther than where you were! 

Breathe in and out when you feel that itching sensation that you are not doing anything, and speak positivity into yourself! Words of affirmation and listening to motivational compilations especially when you feel anxious will boost you up. Tony Robbins is one of my favorite speakers and has many messages regarding being patient that you can find on Youtube.  Remember my friends, baby steps not sprints:)

I hope these tips will help you reach the level of success I know you can acquire. Remember to always have patience and do not burn yourself out. Knowing the why when completing or working on whatever it is you want in the first place will continue the momentum and if it doesn't go as planned, change the direction! 

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." - Confucius 

Don't Quit!

 

For the past few nights, we have been watching a lot of motivational youtube videos regarding our career path. I can't lie folks, sales is difficult but it's one of those great challenges! Every day you learn more and more about people and most importantly yourself! Anyone who's in a career field that requires them to interact with all kinds of people, I think you can resonate with what I'm saying. You learn the tricks of the trade, how to be more extroverted, and how to make people feel more comfortable when you talk with them. I've been in the sales field on and off for a few years now.  

When I was 16 I worked for a wholesale club Costco selling any products they offered me. From food to beauty products to toothbrushes, there I was making sure these items were being taken home and used on a daily. 

I remembered I loved it because it really brought me out of my shell. I like to think of myself as an introvert, extrovert. I love talking to people whom I feel comfortable with but back then talking to a stranger?! Never! Once I started working, that's when I had to get out of that mentality and put my charismatic attitude to good use. Working at a young age and especially working in jobs that required me to speak with strangers on a daily really helped me develop my communicational skills as well as personality. 

I started working as an insurance agent a few weeks ago. I knew I had the personality and background for it, I thought why not? Perfect opportunity to grow even more! Not to mention, I work alongside my partner and that makes it even more special! We got through the grueling process of the tests, the paperwork, now its been game time! Last few weeks I had so much anxiety when it came to speaking on the phone with prospects. 

I knew it all had to do with the fear of rejection, not to mention my pregnancy has been making me extra emotional, so every "NO" or hang up I received felt like a punch to the gut, but after watching motivational videos, sales training and most importantly listening to Tony Robbins religiously every day, sometimes even twice a day! I had finally realized not to take it personally! Now like I mentioned, I have been in sales for a few years, I knew I'd get those not so friendly people, the hang-ups you name it, but sometimes when you don't expect it, that's when you feel the rejection the most. 

I've been telling myself for the past few days, to not give up! Don't quit, don't quit, don't quit Kseniya!" I literally tell myself before I get on the phone and start dialing. I even wrote on a sticky note and put it on my wall beside me so just in case I had someone not so nice, I knew I couldn't allow that energy to affect the rest of my performance. 

It's easy to give up or quit. We've all done it in some areas of our lives. We had a rule in my house growing up that if you involved yourself in a hobby or sport, that you were not to give up. Mom always said, "The Rousseaus do not quit." It's stuck with me ever since then. I promise you my friends when you feel that intense emotion to quit, that's when its crucial to push yourself even further! 

One of the confidence videos I was watching, the narrator was explaining how our brains are more likely to think of something negative than positive due to our survival instincts, we consciously and unconsciously try to protect ourselves from danger, and in a lot of cases, our brain interprets quitting as protecting us, when in all actuality that's when we need to tell ourselves "keep going."

 I'm sure you all have been in a situation where something felt impossible, maybe you have been working on something for months, even years and you can't seem to find that perfect missing link so you feel its in your best nature to give up, but if you just keep going you know eventually you will get that "AH HA" moment! The lightbulb always goes on, it may not be on your terms but I tell you, if you stay consistent enough and keep trying 17 times, 17 different ways, eventually you will have what it is you are looking for. 

Consistency is the best way to keep yourself from falling off the success wagon. People quit because they believe that little voice inside their head that tells them "this is too hard" or they don't try and look for other solutions. Trust me its easy to try something once and say "Nah, I quit" but what if that same thing landed you 5 million dollars or your dream relationship, house whatever it is? 

I could've easily quit writing my blogs after finding out I was pregnant, landing a job that requires a lot of my attention but I know I have the willpower to keep going. Not to mention I love blogging for all of you and myself. I may not blog as frequently as I did but the big picture is I did not give up. Think of all the times in your life where something may have been super difficult or you were demanded a lot and didn't think you could juggle it all, whatever that challenge might have been but you stayed persistent and were rewarded in some way for it later. 

Just think, if you quit, would you be where you are today? Would you be so successful and I know you all are! (your own definition of success) if you decided to give up? No so think of those times the next time you feel like pulling the rug up from beneath you! Just think how great you feel about yourself when you DONT quit! I bet you feel like a million bucks! Well, let's keep that high energy consistent.

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."- Thomas Edison 

You Are Either Growing Or Dying!

 

Now that it is already September, here we are again in a new chapter of our lives! Let me start off by asking a few questions... Did you accomplish any of your short-term goals in the month of August? Did you learn something new? Maybe a new hobby or a trade that will lead you in a positive direction? How creative were you? How often did you work on yourself? Now when I ask the question in regards to self-improvement, I want to know if you changed anything about yourself, whether it be becoming more active, reading more frequently, you catch my drift. 

We never stop and ask these questions to ourselves now do we? I know for a majority of my life, I never stopped and asked myself if I was improving, I was on autopilot mode for so long when I finally came up and breathed fresh air for the first time, it clicked! I had to ask myself every day, how can I become better than I was yesterday? What can I do differently next time? We all know we can't go back and change our past, but with the lessons that we received thus far in our lives, we can use those as opportunities to heighten ourselves in any shape or form.  

Today's topic I wanted to discuss why growth is essential and "just doing it" will bring you nothing but success and joy in your life from this day forward! When we finally stop putting the blame on other people for their mistakes, the rain that soaked your brand new suit because you forgot to check the weather before heading out, our sky will become a lot prettier to look at. 

I share in almost every blog post of mine that every morning I listen to a motivational speaker whether it be Les Brown, Tony Robbins, or Zig Ziglar, and even if its the same message from the day before I am always nodding my head and thinking to myself, what can I take from today's message and apply it to my own life or a particular area? Ladies and gents that question has become a game-changer for me. When I started asking those small questions, I noticed the shift in my attitude, my emotions, the way my brain would process outside information. I started realizing that even if its raining cats and dogs, I can still have an awesome day because I chose it to be that way! I am taking personal responsibility for my own happiness. 

Many times our happiness depends on outside circumstances or people, but folks we all know deep down we need to create that. There's no better way of doing that other than being responsible for self. We are responsible for the energy we give off, our emotions and thoughts, and the only way to become successful is by leaving those lame excuses you keep telling yourself behind and start putting in the work, whatever it is you're trying to obtain. When we become responsbile for one self, this is where we start to see the growth and change. 

I'm in sales and let me tell you its such a great learning experience because every day I have the power to either amaze myself in my growth, or choose fear from calling prospects to hinder my growth. It always comes down to two decisions in your life my friends, you just need to get hungrier enough to feed the enlightened path rather than the dark one.  I used to hate talking on the phone. Put me in front of people and I will have everyone laughing or smiling, but its something about the phone that gets my anxiety going! 

When I become an insurance agent a month ago, I knew this is exactly what I needed and wanted! I wanted the flexibility to work from home since our daughter will be born in just 3 months and continue to work from home once she's born, as well as needed this opportunity to fuel my higher self and become better for mysef and growing family. I knew I had to call people, sometimes cold calling depending on the type of lead I provided myself with but let me tell you folks, its been a journey so far! 

The first few weeks were tough, Id make excuses to myself on why I wasn't putting in the dials, but one day I had to get honest with myself and realize if I wanted to make this work, I had to push through this fear to get to the big bucks! It wasn't easy but I had to take the initiative and realize I won't be getting anywhere if I don't make the calls. I have been listening to some juicy sales experts on youtube that have helped me grasp my anxiety and have allowed me to maintain it. 

My partner Pablo is amazing and pushes me every day in the right direction, after every call we make,we discuss what we thought the other could have done better on, what we need to work on for future calls, and of course lifting each other up for the hard work we've put in. Self-growth isn't easy but when you're surrounded by people who want to grow as well, it makes the process a lot more enjoyable and keeping each other accountable is the cherry on top when it comes to being successful in my opinion. 

We often let our fears take over and eventually quit whatever we're doing it.This is where we slowly start to die mentally and emotionally. Think about how many times youve quit but felt miserable about it. Its you knowing you should have justt kept pushing through but thats okay, we all make mistakes, but learning from those mistakes will lead you in the right direction. 

Maybe rejection is a big thing for you, or you're too critical on yourself, whatever you're telling yourself that allows you to stop doing what you set out to do, you need to turn off that little monkey brain that keeps telling you, you are not good enough and realize that you are one step closer than where you were before! Think about it, most people don't even start on a project because they already talked themselves out of it in fear of failing, but once you take that first step your goal is more reachable. 

The bottom line folks, you are either growing or dying! It's that black and white. I know that may sound a bit harsh but I'm here to motivate you guys to go after your goals whether big or small in your eyes, if you have a vision you need to make it into reality! Think about it, you would never vision something you didn't think was possible, so once you start applying that to your every day you will see much improvement in the way you comprehend things. 

As Les Brown says "The graveyard is the richest place on earth because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem or determined to carry out their dream."

 Don't be one of those people folks, continue to grow and evolve as we are all meant to do! 

Perception VS. Reality

I wanted to start off by giving you google's definition of Perception vs. Reality.  "Our perception creates our thoughts which creates our reality. The reality, on the other hand, is the true state of things- how things really are, whether we perceive them to be as such or not. It is important to note that it is we who supply the perceptions and build our beliefs with them." 

I love this analogy because it represents what is true and what we believe to be true based on our own experiences with the inner and outer world. I chose this topic because I believe everyone has their own perception of the world, people, government, you name it!

 Our perception is formed based on how we grew up. Think about it, if you suffered a lot of trauma in your childhood your perception of people might be more closed off then someone who did not. You might have a hard time trusting people, allowing people to get close to you, etc. And vise versa! You grew up with everything you ever dreamt of your perception of the world is "I get everything I want!"

Now we can sit and think about our childhood, what we did not get, what we got, the amount of love we received, and gave to people but reminiscing on such things will not be in your best interest. You will not be able to move on, and you may ultimately get stuck mentally and emotionally. In life, we all need to level up, for heaven's sake we are humans!

We are meant to evolve and be better than we were yesterday. When we evolve, we must evolve our perception as well. Reality will stay the same, you will always see trees, the sky, the ocean, the moon, and the sun, that reality of the world will never go away, but our perception is what we can control.

Think about your life up until this point... How have you interpreted everyday life? Do you see the world as cold and malicious or the complete opposite? However you do, ask yourself "is this reality based on my upbringing, or is reality really all black and white?"

I used to have a really black and white mentality. It was either people were nice or mean, no in-between, no if and or buts about it! This level of life that I had perceived was due to my abandonment issues and not allowing people to get too close. Thank goodness I had a great therapist at the time and she had discussed with me the importance of not having this frame of mind. She'd always say "it won't hurt to see some gray sometimes!" and I tell you, as I started to evolve and mature I knew exactly what she had meant.

Nowadays our flight or fight stress response is out of control. We have learned to keep operating through life on autopilot. When was the last time you stopped and admired a flower? Or how about taking a stroll along the beach inhaling the salty air? When we're always on automatic pilot mode, our perception can get a bit foggy.
For example, you've been writing a paper for the last few days. All of your focus and energy is on completing this for class, you don't sleep, eat, or even breathe its that intense. You hand in your paper. and a few days go by, you get back your paper, and come to find out you received a big fat F and a note saying " you missed the whole concept of this thesis". Your perception was you devoted the last few days giving your all to this paper but in all actuality, your topic doesn't even relate to what your professor wanted you to cover.

My point is folks, we can't always believe what we perceive to be true! Based on a lot of factors in your life, your perception can get a bit hazy or you might find yourself thinking in a black and white way. If you find yourself nodding in agreement to what I'm stating, or reflecting on how you have viewed the world thus far, self-reflection is your gateway to changing your perception so that it is a lot clearer!

 By reflecting back on how you have responded to outside events whether your curse the world for your faults or maybe your head is too much in the clouds, think about how you have reacted and if you find yourself realizing there are some things you need to change about yourself, then do it! Remember in order to grow and become more self-aware, we need to look ourselves in the mirror and realize we've been the one holding ourselves back based on how we have distinguished life. 

How you wish to see things is up to you my friends, but when we can change how we see things, you never know! Opportunities you never thought were there might suddenly appear. :)

"Life is all about perception. Positive versus negative. Whichever you choose will affect and more than likely reflect your outcomes."

The Value Behind A Routine

I have been MIA for a few weeks now. With preparing for our daughter to arrive in just 3 months! As well as a new career opportunity, a lot of other things have taken up my time but not enough to keep me hostage from writing!

Today I wanted to discuss the importance of a schedule, and why having a routine or daily schedule will lead you down the path to success! Without further a due let's jump right in!

 Every day my partner and I wake up roughly the same time each morning. We start off the day with a good old cup of joe and some motivational compilations from either Les Brown, Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn to name a few. I love starting my days like this because it gets me focused and motivated for the long day ahead! I haven't been sleeping much at night due to my daughter being super active, but I try and find the joy in it because it's so amazing to experience!

 Once I hear one of our motivators speaking my tiredness snaps right out of me and mentally I am ready to begin what I have planned. After a nice 30 mins of catching up and motivational information in the background, now its time to get the job done! Lately, our schedule time has been different due to training, meetings, and then getting to the action, but seeing the repetition every morning gets me up and running.

Back in December, we used to get up each morning at 6:30 and head over to the gym for an hour before work started. I miss those days but I know soon gyms will be re-opening in NYC and we will back on an even more structured plan! I quit my bartending and catering job back in October due to inconsistency and I just felt this longing to do more for myself. I loved and hated the nightlife job.

It's a great opportunity if you want to pick your own schedule and have pretty much the whole day to yourself till roughly 5 pm when your shift would start, but for me, this was my downfall. My shifts always changed! Sometimes I had days I would come in at 11 am and days where work wouldn't even start till 8pm. Having shifts where timing was so unpredictable took away from the important things I needed to get done. I always found a time to go to the gym but you'd never see me in there at 6:30 in the morning if I had a shift that ended at 3am earlier that evening haha.

From a young age, a structured routine had always worked for me best. Getting up a certain time, going to school, sports, homework, eat and then bed. I had seen so much success in myself over the years, I knew I had to get out of the nightlife biz if I wanted true success. I loved the experience bartending and catering gave me as well as meeting some amazing people, but when you know its time to move on, listen to that little voice!

When you find yourself on a routine, you can actually get more things done! You already know how much time each task will take, if you work you know your hours like the back of your hand, I know sometimes everything can get unpredictable when it comes to having kids but I promise you, when you have the same routine, you can always find wiggle room for maybe some more "you time", time with friends, catching up with your partner, whatever it is folks you can always find the time!

The earlier you wake up the more you can get done as well. Let's say you've been holding off on that gym you joined months ago due to your overwhelming schedule, but if you really wanted it you would find the time to go! Going early in the morning is the best time!

Gyms are usually less crowded in the morning, depending on what time you go and it's always good to work on yourself. Remember when you really want something, most of the time you go for it right? So if there's something you want to do, or you know you need to go to the gym, find the time that best suits you and go for it, my friends. You will thank me later:)

However your days are structured, please think about your everyday activities, do you do the same thing each day? Do you normally eat around the same time? Think about your daily habits, are they taking you one step further to where you want to go? If not I suggest you cut them out of your life and add in some new habits that will lead you to where you want to be.

Finding what works and what doesn't work and incorporating a healthy routine will lead you in your favorable direction.  Be honest with yourself because we only have 24 hours in the day! Make sure those 24 hours are being spent on becoming the best version of you!

"Youll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine."

Mindfulness

Today is all about being mindful! I love this topic because this is something I am always struggling with. To be mindful of me, my emotions my thoughts. I write a lot about personal development, spirituality, how we can get ourselves to the next level but I still struggle with allowing my past to creep up on me and take over sometimes. For the most part, I have it under control but the days when I am feeling extra vulnerable or I have more time to think, I notice my mind swaying back to my past and what I can change. In reality, I can't change my past but I am re-writing my future just how I want it!

To be mindful is to be in control of one's self. Now you may ask how can I possibly do that when outside circumstances seem to ruin it? Well, my friends, I'm here to answer that in my own unique way. I discuss the importance of letting go of things we can not control such as outside reality. We can't control if it rains or shines, or how other people respond to us, but we can control is ourselves. We can control how we respond to others, our energy, and our emotions as well as thoughts. Now in my personal experience, thoughts were the hardest battle to control.

 I would have a great day, I felt I had the world on my shoulders and then all of a sudden a negative thought would creep in. I used to allow myself to get entangled in that negative thought for hours, and eventually, it would ruin my mood, but now that I am more aware and conscious, I can notice my mind navigating in the negative direction and in that moment, decide to think about something positive or my future.

 I am a big visualizer when it comes to what I want my future to look like. I can day-dream all day about it! Visualizing how you want your future to look like is a great exercise when you are trying to be more mindful of your thoughts. If you're not quite there yet, it's okay but meditation is key, or just closing your eyes and allowing your dreams to come forth.

To be mindful is to be aware. I want all of you to test yourself out a little bit. After you finish reading this post, I would like for you take a mental note on how many times in a day you can be aware of either the thoughts that are filtering in your head, (whether they be positive or negative) or your emotions, how you are responding to your inner and outer reality. Practices like these will help you become more in tune with yourself. There's nothing better than knowing yourself! Practice this every day and you will see in no time how alert you will become! When we are mindful of ourselves, we can handle situations a lot easier and less painful than if it were the opposite.

Have you ever seen someone being screamed at but their not reacting?! I've seen plenty and I was always amazed at how someone can be so calm in a situation like that. But think about it my friends, that person is CHOOSING to be mindful, the individual is aware of his or her emotions. When there's no exchange of emotions back, guess who wins? The person whos being screamed at, and the person whos screaming looks like a fool! Remember no reaction sometimes is the best way to win an argument. You will ultimately pick and choose your battles, but remember you win when you are in tune with yourself.

Mindfulness is such a smart tool to have. No one knows you better than you know yourself, and when you know yourself, you know how to handle situations as well knowing how to deal with emotions on an appropriate level. When you are comfortable and confident with yourself, no one can ever try and tell you who you are! They may try but that's always a reflection of themselves in reality.

I hope you take what you have learned from this post and all of my blogs so far, and really apply it to your life. I can assure you, being mindful, having a positive outlook, knowing everything will be okay and, the universe or whatever you believe in has your back, you will be unstoppable my friend!

"Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experiences." - Jon Kabat- Zinn

Thank You!

I've been writing non-stop but today this post is all about you! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been reading my blogs faithfully or even if this is the first post that you are reading, thank you! Thank you for taking the time out of your daily life and zooming in some awesome material. I started this blog initially because this was my way of giving back to the community. I want to help people become the best version of themselves! I, myself strive every day to become better than I was yesterday and I hope you are doing the same for you because you are WORTH IT!

I love reading the comments some of you write and, I am always open to new ideas! Feel free to email me at Kseniyarussau138@gmail.com if there's any topics you would like me to write about, or if there's a post I already wrote about and you want me to elaborate please do not hesitate to reach out! I write these posts not only to inspire you but myself, but hearing outside opinions is what keeps me going each time I write!

Again, thank you for giving my blog's a portion of your time, and remember to always do your best!

You Are Your First Priority

If you've ever been on an airplane before, we all have heard "put your oxygen masks on first before you help someone else." I mean think about it... how can you help the next person if you're struggling to breathe? You either have very strong lungs or before you know it time will be running out! But either way my friends, we need to learn or have not already done so put ourselves first before anyone else. 

I've always been someone who loved to help others, anytime someone needed something, I would be there in a jiffy helping out or, just a shoulder to cry on. I always felt special in those cases because I felt people could rely on me in times of need. 

I've always been an Empath and so being the hero for people was my thing. I've always been the "pillow" as my boyfriend says, until one day we discussed this topic and I shared with him my experiences with people, and when it was my turn to cry, either people forgot who I was or, their phone was on "do not disturb" when I had called. 

I got so used to that feeling that I became numb when I would try and express myself and shut down. I continued to be a blanket, a doormat, pillow however you want to call it for years until I realized that I couldn't allow such behavior. Thank god professional help and therapy has always been a thing in my life, so I didn't feel entirely alone when I was going through my ish. 

My biggest struggle was becoming my number one priority and learning to say no. I had always allowed others to come first, and mentally thought that they would return the favor but people don't work like that. If you have been in the position that I am referring to then you know exactly how it feels. When you finally wake up from the bubble, you have to immediately work on yourself. 

Work on that part of you that doesn't feel worthy enough to become your number one! I still struggle with it today, but I now have a grip on myself and I am slowly learning how to express myself in times I feel I am not being heard or used up. It takes time and patience with yourself, but folks we need to develop that soul connection with ourselves. 

How many times have you preached to others that they shouldn't allow others to come first before them, but you're not taking your own advice?! I know I can raise my hand! I used to PREACH that all the time, but I never could look myself in the mirror and say it. It wasn't until I realized that I ALLOWED myself to become second in my life, that I had to make the switch. 

Now that I am pregnant and only have a few months left, I am making sure everyday me and, my little one inside of me and, my Pablo come first. Once she comes into this world, all the focus and attention will be on her, but learning to love me more and more every day, words of affirmation, developing healthy habits, and continuing on the righteous path, that's what it is all about right now. 

I want all of you every day to take an hour for yourself. Even if you think you can't or "don't have the time", by the way, stop telling yourself you don't have the time for you because you do! It an excuse you've been telling yourself every day so you don't have to focus on yourself. But my friends, take an hour each day, either in the morning, afternoon or once the sun goes down to practice some self-care, and "me" time. 

Whether it's drawing yourself a nice bath, drinking your favorite glass of wine, or sitting outside by yourself and admiring nature. Sit with yourself for an hour and think about all the great things you bring to yourself and others! Fill yourself up with so much self-love every day and I promise you the next time someone asks you for a favor, but you know in the back of your mind you shouldn't be engaged with them, you will be able to tell them with confidence NO without the need for an explanation! 

I used to be horrible at saying no. Saying no to people made me feel so guilty, but now I take back my power and think to myself "I don't have to do anything I don't want to do" and remember this, no is a complete sentence. Learn not to explain yourself to anyone. If it's friends or family that have your best interest at heart, then yes if you feel the need to explain, go ahead but anyone else no is all they should get without you feeling guilty for not explaining. 

The bottom line is folks, you need to set some healthy boundaries for yourself and for others. Don't feel afraid to express those boundaries as well! When people understand your limits, they will know when to seize off. You only have one of you. 

"Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have."

Stepping Outside Of Your Comfort Zone

Today I wanted to discuss the importance of stepping out of your comfort zone!! This blog I can relate to in so many ways because currently, I am stepping out of my comfort zone like crazy! I just finished passing my second exam to be a licensed life insurance agent. I never thought in a million years I would be applying for a job such as this! I've always loved the sales aspect, I have a lot of experience in customer service/hospitality field so I know this opportunity will be right up my alley!

 All of my jobs have been related to helping others one way or the other. Whether it's selling someone the right product, making a specialty cocktail, and going door to door signing people up for Verizon as well as, dabbling into the Solar Industry I would say I have my way for people lol. 

But folks, getting to the position that I am in now required a lot of mental strength on my end as well as, stepping out of my own comfort zone! I used to get nervous conversing with people believe it or not when I was younger, but with the help of volunteering at Girl Scout Camp in the summer, and working at a pizza shop, that's where my communication skills were built. 

In order to be licensed you need to go through some vigorous training in NY, study your butt off for some weeks, and take not one but TWO tests in order to get licensed!! I mean the hamster wheel never stops!  I am so proud of Pablo and myself for stepping out of our comfort zone and taking on the mental challenge! 

Funny we were discussing today how many people just settle for a job because its comfortable, or the money is good but you hear these people always complaining about going to work! I used to be one of those people as well, I used to dread going to work but for where I was at in my life, I thought the money was good enough. Thank god I finally pushed myself to quit and dabble into the sales field because it has taken me on a ride! Doors will constantly open for you but, it's up to you to decide whether to take the leap of faith and walk through or, continue to be where you are. 

In order for all of us to grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially, we need to try new things! I know you're comfortable where you are at the moment, but think to yourself "are you really happy? Is it bringing in the cash flow you desire?" If you said no to at least one of these questions, its time for you to start doing what you LOVE! I know you might look on the screen and say "Kseniya what I want to do will not bring in cash flow", but people how do you if you never try!? 

Stepping out of the comfort zone is all about trial and error! Step into the unknown and see what will come out of it! Trial and error is only there for you to show you which direction is the right one and which one is not. 

Stepping into the unknown is always the hardest part of the journey to success that's why most people don't even attempt but I know all of you have the motivation to obtain which you are seeking! Remember too what you are seeking is seeking you as well, so don't be afraid to go out there and grab it before someone else does!

In one of Les Brown's motivational speeches, he discusses how the graveyard has some of the best ideas ever thought of, but unfortunately, they will never come to fruition due to the people thinking of them had brought them to the grave as well. Don't be one of those people due to fear, or rejection from others! What you will not try, I promise you someone else will. 

If you want to go far in life, stepping out of your safety net is the best way to do it. Not only will opportunity knock repeatedly at your door, but you will be so happy with yourself that you did not settle for your dead-end job or allow fear to keep that billion-dollar idea in the dark! 

Believe in yourself like I do! Now take the first step into your new world! 

"If you want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've never done."

Judge Less, Perceive More

I was studying one last time for my big exam today which I PASSED!! I was so happy you can't believe it! I have been studying for an aggressive 2 weeks and all of those restless nights had finally pulled off! As I was studying, I put on some motivational compilations and, decided to listen to Tony Robbins on the power of positivity.

  It was a short 15-minute seminar but the information was priceless.  He said, "when you feel a negative thought pop up in your mind, try not to judge yourself for it, but to perceive it, and then wish it away." I found that very interesting because I try and do that myself.

I have been better at observing my thoughts and realizing when a negative thought appears, to analyze it but not allow it to control the little world up there, as well as my emotions. I feel like most people when they receive a negative thought they tend to put themselves down, question their motives when in all reality, we all get negative thoughts! The purpose is to not engage in the negative thought but, think of something that you are grateful for.

The rest of the short seminar he goes on about how we need to slow down and, stop judging others as well! The power of controlling that urge to automatically judge another or ourselves. His motto was when you feel like you are about to judge someone, examine your thoughts, and ask yourself why you're thinking that way in the first place. I agree with his message because we all have different levels of judgemental nature.

 I say if you feel the need to judge someone, judge them on their attitude whether it's positive or negative. Physicality is off-limits. I am all for looking ourselves in the mirror and if we notice were falling off the wagon a little, that's a healthy judgment of oneself and therefore we need to take action.  My motto is judging someone else because of their natural physicality is a big no, no!

I'm sure you all have heard, when we judge something in others, it's really how we feel about ourselves. It's the same as if something one does that triggers us, it usually derives from something in us that we need to work on. I never understood that concept until I got into the personal development world. By taking personal responsibility in the things we can control such as our attitude and emotions, we tend to judge less and observe more.

Think about the next time you see something a person doing that you find odd... before you judge that person, ask yourself why are you even bothered in the first place by him? Unless the individual is bothering you, but judging others is just a reflection of ourselves. Learn to observe and maybe play a little psychology game with yourself, ask yourself why do people do what they do? Is it due to a lack of attention? Is this their way of crying out for help? Who knows, the ball is in your court to try and figure it out, but allowing yourself to just observe will keep from speaking your two-cents.

I used to judge myself a lot more as well as others. When I first moved to the city, you know how the city can be filled with different characters and my fellow train buddies, I'm sure you have all seen some entertainment when riding the subway.

I used to judge those people but one day I decided, I don't know what they're going through, maybe this is their way of screaming for attention. Of course, we have all seen the mentally-impaired that just can't help themselves, but even those people, learn to observe before you judge! As mom would always say " If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it."

The bottom line my friends is to slow down the mind and observe. Learning how to quiet the mind takes practice but in a lot of my blogs, I discuss the topic of Meditation! Meditation will help you quiet your talkative mind and slow down.  When I meditate, I am more clear on what's happening around me, more present, and I can analyze my thoughts. This takes patience and persistence, but you all can do it if not already have started too!

The next time you're ready to judge others or yourself, remember to sit back perceive, and send yourself and others love!

"Thinking is difficult, that's why most people judge."- Carl Gustav Jung

Reflecting On Last Month

Another chapter closes as we head into the month of August! Wow! Where did the summer go by? Oh, right we all had to be on lockdown lol. What a time to be alive! Did you try and make the best of it? Did you work on yourself in any way?

This month was all about taking personal responsibility for my actions. I have been struggling with a few things that are completely in my control, but back then I didn't realize the hole I had dug until one day I had to be honest with myself about what I needed to work on. I am so thankful I have a supportive partner who not only understands but tries and guides me in the right direction when I veer left too much.  Its really not about how many people you have in your corner but who will step up and help you move in the right direction.

I don't know about you but July felt like such a long month for me! Each week I am little more restless when it comes to meeting my little girl, regular check-ups, I've learned now not to wish it away and soak up each minute of pregnancy because December is right here! I am so happy we were fortunate enough to go to Chicago for some time apart from the craziness, and relax. Even though we were staying in the city, it was so chill compared to NYC. It was super clean, quiet and you can feel the peacefulness among everyone.

 Our hotel was near a beach and every night, either throughout the daytime or before the sunset, we would go down there and sit, soak in the beautiful view and connect like we had just met again. It was amazing to go somewhere different and take in the new sights. Crazy to think that happened a few weeks ago, it feels like forever already!

We only have 5 weeks of summer left and then fall will be here! Fall is my favorite season. The season of change! Watching the colors of the leaves reshape into yellow and red, the heat slowly transitions into that cool crisp weather, I can't wait!! I've always liked summer but this summer has been so hot, and with being pregnant my body can't take it sometimes.

Enough about me. I wanted to write this post because it's always good to reflect back on the month and view how much growth we all have gone through. Whether it's you working on something that you've always wanted to, or you're letting go of a negative habit, whatever improvements and growth you've made throughout July, please find the time and thank yourself for all your hard work and dedication!! Even if you didn't significantly change anything, don't beat yourself up, we all evolve at our own time. Some days are harder than others but every day is a new opportunity for change!

As we go into the new month of August, take the first few days and reflect on what you can do differently this month. Whether it's continuing to pursue your goals, start a new habit, or practice gratitude more often, find a goal, and commit to it!

Commit to it all month and then at the end of August, look back at how evolved you have become! When we reach our goals or continue to climb up the latter of success, we become invincible! Completing short-term goals will have you eager to go after more!

Welcome in the new month with open arms and a "yes I can" attitude!

Leaving Behind Your Legacy

I was listening to a motivational compilation this morning and, Zig Ziglar mentioned about leaving behind your legacy and the type of legacy you will be passing down. Funny I thought of writing this topic a few days ago, and with my busy study schedule, I haven't been able to write but it was a sign today to discuss this important subject!

For those who have been following my blog or this is your first read, I am pregnant with my first child. Since I was a child I always dreamed of one day becoming a mother, becoming his or her leader, and showing her the way throughout this journey called life. My mom and dad had done such an amazing job of raising my brother and me to become who we are today. The wisdom, teachings, and allowing us to occasionally scrape our knees had built our character and formed the young adults we are.

My mom is unfortunately not here on this earth with me anymore, but the legacy she had left behind will forever live in me. She taught me how to unconditionally love myself as well as others. She always expressed how important it was to be a leader even in uncomfortable positions and, trust in a higher power for guidance.

I struggled with her gone for years but one day I remembered that she would want me to be happy, and to keep moving forward no matter what. I refused to ever give up even when I hit my rock bottoms, but her words and wisdom had always given me the strength to push onwards. Mom was a businesswoman and a leader by nature. She was elegant with her words and knew how to speak to anyone with empathy but assertiveness.

I always looked up to my mom but now as I transition into my motherhood journey, I realized how important it was for me to set the example for not only my daughter but for myself as well. My little one won't be here until December but, I heal and prepare myself mentally and emotionally and spiritually now so that when she does come I will be prepared to tackle on new obstacles.

We're humans, we make mistakes, fall, get back up, fall again its a constant cycle in life for us to learn, but remember in those times that are tougher that is all just a never-ending learning process makes it easier and more enjoyable. I know that sounds a little cliche, I'm not saying to enjoy the falling periods in our lives, but when we look back at all mistakes, we sometimes can't help but laugh at how silly they were, or how we thought the world was going to end but we turned out okay!

I love the scene in the movie, Pocahontas when she's talking with her grandmother, who in spirit form is the Willow tree and, she's seeking advice, and grandma is telling her to follow her heart and she'll find the answers she's been looking for because, its a great representation to trust ourselves that we have the answers we are looking for. When I pass away, I want my children and grandchildren to look up in the sky, and call out to me for wisdom but, realize they already have the tools and knowledge to pursue whatever it is.

Leaving behind such a profound legacy is very important to me because I do that with my mom. I talk to her all the time, I call out to her and ask her for some wisdom, some signs that I am on the right path. I've learned to trust people who only have my best interests at heart, but to ask someone who is not physically here is remarkable. The morals and ethics they lived by while here on this earth inspire us to shape ourselves so that we leave a mark on others as well. Serving the community, helping anyone, and most importantly helping yourself is the basic tools you need in order to leave behind your mark in this world.

 Of course, we remember the not-so-positive people as well who have caused havoc to society, but remembering the ones who were not afraid to stand up for what is right, the people who helped others who were compassionate towards everyone and everything, those are the individuals we need to remember the most and, walk in their footsteps. I'm not saying be just like them, but take what you've learned from them and apply it into your life in your unique way.

My mom had such a way of talking with people, she made everyone feel comfortable and to be themselves and as a child, I saw that and wanted others to feel the same way I spoke with them. I didn't want to be exactly like my mom, because like we all do she had her flaws as well, but her inspiration and light outshined everything else.  Remember when you leave this earth, people will talk about what you have done and don't you want people to remember you by the great contributions you have made?

Think of that every day even when you're feeling down and I promise you, your mindset will start to shift! I have my moments, we all do so let's not beat ourselves up when we make mistakes or" fail" I hate that word by the way because failing is just learning.

When our child was learning how to walk and they kept falling but got right back up, we didn't call that failing to walk!? We called that learning and eventually, they learned how to walk on their two feet with no problem! Think of that analogy every time you feel like putting yourself down for in-completing your task and, you will laugh at yourself for getting upset in the first place.

We all were brought here to learn, to love, to give, and let's leave this earth knowing in our hearts we did the best we could have done. Every day after you read this...Think to yourself, what will you do differently or what other contributions will you make not only for yourself but for others? If you want to inspire others to do good things, it needs to come from you first.  Be the leader YOU know you can be!

"Legacy is not leaving something for people. It's leaving something in people." - Peter Strople

Improving Your Body Language

As my body goes through crazy changes during pregnancy, I realized I have to be more conscious of my posture! It's easy to slouch, shoulders hunched over like we look the hunchback of Notre Dame but, guys this is not a good look! Not only is it super unhealthy for your back, but its actually a sign of low self-esteem. You might re-read that twice shaking your head no, but it's very accurate. Think about it.. you're in a crappy state of mind, automatically your body will conform to how we feel on the inside.

Youll tend to slouch, your shoulders will hunch inward, almost as if you're hugging yourself, this is defense mechanism unconsciously to show others that we are closed off from the world. I'm not a doctor this is just my personal opinion, but I've spoken to many psychologists that have stated similar arguments.

When our confidence is high, were smiling from ear to ear and think were badasses, our bodies will conform to that! We will tend to keep our shoulders back, our chins up and, maintain strong eye contact with every individual we come across.  Have you ever seen someone walking down the street, the wind blowing in their hair, back is straight and they look like they want to take on the world?! That's what confidence looks like! Of course, this is just a broad spectrum of a much larger scale, but it all comes down to our body language and how we represent ourselves.

I used to work at a school a few years ago and, I used to go to work in sweats every day as there was no strict dress code. I realized a lot of people didn't want to involve themselves with me, my body language was screaming to the world" I am not approachable!" Thanks to my dad's fiance, she had expressed to me how important it was to dress casually even if you don't feel the part because it will make you appear more focused and serious about the job you are performing,(if you're not required to wear a uniform.)

 Think about it, someone who wears baggy clothes every day, their hiding something or, they're not confident in their own body so they need to cover up with sizes much larger than they actually are. I know we're all different when it comes to dressing and our own unique style, I'm not saying go out and change your whole wardrobe, but the next time you put something on, how does it make you feel?

 I'm 23 but I absolutely love wearing business clothes, the whole suit with a nice pair of heels is right up my alley! When I worked in my sales job, we were required to wear business professional before we hit the field and man I felt like such a confident and beautiful woman inside and out! Not to mention I love the sound of heels clanking on the floor walking into a room, talk about feeling the presence of a woman that's ready to take on business!

When I was forced to dress the part, I literally felt the part. I felt more confident, shoulders were back and my head held high. I had to show people that I was a woman of business and, that I took my profession very seriously. Imagine you walking into an interview back hunched, shirt, and pants wrinkles, no one will want to hire you! It all comes down to our presence and what type of energy we want to give off in this wold.

If we want to be taken seriously, we need to act and feel the part. Even if you don't feel confident yet, fake it till you make it! We can trick our brain into being comfortable in uncomfortable positions when we believe in ourself.

The next time you walk down the street, how will you portray yourself? The amazing being that you are with your head held high or, with a frown on your face!?

"A good stance and posture reflect a proper state of mind."

The 2- Minute Rule

Last night after I finished my last post, I was still feeling a bit crummy. I guess that's what comes with pregnancy and the extra hormones. Most of the time I'm happy and excited about life, and the direction it's heading, and I know I will have a bright future ahead of me, but sometimes I still can't shake off certain things, and people from my past that come to haunt me. I've been having weird vivid dreams the last few nights of people that were in my life that I let go.

It was as if the universe was telling me "don't worry I pulled them away from your life for a reason." I got emotional last night while thinking of my mom and all of a sudden I guess you can say I had some sort of revelation.

As a child when I was throwing my typical bratty tantrums, she would say "Senny you have 2 minutes to feel this way and then I'm sucking all the bad outta ya!" She would then proceed to take my arm and tickle me as if she was ripping out the sadness, or whatever negative emotion I was feeling in the moment.

My mom had used the "2-minute rule" with me up until she had passed. I will never forget how she made me feel, she had allowed me to feel whatever emotion was swirling through me and then told me after 2 minutes was up, to switch my focus on something positive.

When my daughter is old enough to go through her own little moments I will make sure to implement my own" 2-minute rule". I think its key to have little mantras like this because it's true, why be stuck in a rut for the rest of your day just because of one little moment ruined your zen?

 I'm sure you all have heard the 5 by 5 rule. " If it's not going to matter in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it."Its the same analogy my mom had implemented on me and honestly I slack in this department. It's easy to say that we are over something but hows our body language? Our facial expressions? If they're telling a different story than what we're saying its time to do some inner-work.

If you're one of the individuals who can let go of negative emotions in a reasonable time, please shoot me an email explaining how you go through with it lol. I've honestly been better when letting go of eerie emotions but lately it's like my emotions have doubled!! But from last night's little revelation moment, I will make sure to work on dealing with certain emotions by analyzing and reassuring myself that everything will be okay.  This morning I let go of all negative emotions that were related from last night, smiled, and breathed in the new day.

My advice for you all is to implement a rule of your own on how you will deal with certain things or if people are just mean to you, how you will respond to yourself and how long you will allow negative emotions to take over.

Holding yourself accountable in times like these will help you see the bigger picture. It will allow you to think about how you will respond to your outer and inner world. Will you allow yourself to have a shitty day just because old Joe over there is being a twit to you, or will you try and let it go and have a fruitful life?!

 I talk about habits in one of my other blogs, Healthy Habits and, I think it's great to form a habit of how you will respond next time you encounter a conflict. Practice being patient with yourself, and remember you're human and have feelings. You have every right to feel how you feel, but after a certain amount of time, is it still worth it to feel crappy? It's up to you to decide how long emotions will control you.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." -Buddha

3 Self-Soothing Tips When Anxiety Takes Over

This is such a good time to talk about anxiety and how we can all try and reduce the craziness of our brain since I've been feeling anxious all week! I'm currently studying for an exam and it requires a lot of patience and focus, not to mention the chapters are disgustingly long and honestly boring!I've been taking practice exams for the last few days and the constant failing has been making me feel so crappy. I had to step away from the course a few times when I noticed myself not retaining any of the information due to being so stressed out. I would step away, look myself in the mirror and repeat"you can do this, you can do this!" but even after all that self-motivation, I was still being defeated.

Today has been the only day that I have passed a practice exam, and honestly, I'm proud of myself that it seems to finally be sticking, but I noticed I was still stressed that it was only once that I passed, but stressing out will not help in any shape. Once I pass this exam, it will be well worth all of the nights I lost sleep over it, and I know I will be kicking myself in the shins for all of the days I worried about failing!!

 I'm sure we all have gone through stages of anxiety, maybe some more than others, and its totally okay, and you're not alone. I have struggled with anxiety for quite some time now and let me tell you, somedays its easier to manage, and some days, I want to pull all of my hair out because I can't stop overthinking.

I will constantly play a scene over in my head about something whether it was something I had done or said to somebody and if it's not how I was trying to relay the message, I'll stress about it all day long and go nuts. Usually, I can tell when my anxiety is flaring up due to my increased heart rate and, my mind not allowing me to focus on anything except whatever is playing in my head.

I never realized I suffered from anxiety until I started therapy and explained to her how my mind worked when I was stressed out. For me, any stressful situation or environment can trigger my anxiety immediately. I'll start becoming quiet, agitated, and eventually shut down due to all of the racing thoughts in my head. I never really learned how to get rid of it because honestly, I feel like we all will have little spurts of feeling anxious for the rest of our lives but I'm here to tell you how we can manage it before it manages us!

Here are 3 tips that have soothed me in stressful times. On a side note I am not a doctor nor a professional in mental health, these are my personal tips that have helped me manage. If any of these tips do not resonate with you, I advise you to seek a mental health counselor that can give you medical advice on this topic! Therapy has helped me in all areas in my life especially when I was at my lowest so never feel ashamed to ask for help!! Now without further a due here are 3 Self-Soothing Tips When Anxiety Takes Over:


1.  Meditation/Breathing Exercise- This is one of my favorite techniques to help me combat my mind because it allows everything to slow down for a few minutes, and allows me to become more present. Meditation or just focusing on your breathing will allow those thoughts to come and go for a period of time and, then all of a sudden you'll notice you won't be thinking about anything! You will become so present that any thoughts trying to filter through will dissipate. When meditating or just simply focusing on your breath...Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. I advise you to close your eyes because it will allow you to focus more on being present. You can as well focus on one particular thing if you're more comfortable with your eyes open but, focus your eyes on one thing as you breathe in and out.

 When I meditate I like to have some soft music playing in the background or binaural beats. Whatever genre you prefer that allows you to become more still and calm, have that playing in the background, not too loud so it becomes distracting but, just enough that you hear it throughout your whole body. Try this exercise for at least 5 minutes a day when you feel yourself losing focus or becoming stressed and, you will see the difference! If you want to try for longer periods of time I advise you to go at your own pace, but if you're a beginner try with 5 minutes a day and work your way up from there.


2. MOVE YOUR BODY!!- I notice I am more likely to become stressed when my body isn't doing anything, and I'm sitting around that's when the overthinking creeps in. When I notice thoughts start to flood my mind like a hamster on a wheel, I get up and start moving! Whether it's going for a brisk walk for 10 minutes to re-center or spending an hour at the gym and taking all that anxiety and frustration out on the weights and stair-master.

You don't have to do any of these examples but just simply getting up and walking around for a bit well help soothe your mind and place your attention somewhere else. If you have a park, beach, trails near you, nature is your best friend. Being out in nature and just admiring the beautiful surrounding will allow those thoughts to leave. Think about it, if you're distracted by something else such as waves crashing, or birds flying over your head, it's going to be a lot harder for those thoughts to control your mind.

Moving your body will not only distract those never-ending thoughts, but you will feel a lot better and not to mention more energized after a walk. Dancing is a great way to take all that energy and use it to flow throughout your entire body. Find an activity that requires you to move, and of course, you enjoy doing, and whenever you feel yourself losing it, just move it!!


3. Communicating your thoughts to loved ones/Professional- Anytime I'm stressed out and feel like I'm about to lose it, I share my thoughts with my partner and express how I'm feeling at that particular moment. Sometimes he senses my anxiety before I even express myself, but communicating with someone you care for, or a professional will help you analyze your thoughts better. By expressing whatever it is that's triggering you will allow you to have a better understanding of your thoughts. It's not healthy to have racing thoughts and to keep it to yourself. How will you ever find the solution to a problem by allowing it to control you?

Express yourself whether it's through journaling, texting, or calling up a loved one, and of course, my favorite seeking a therapist or counselor. Our loved ones have our best interest at heart, but their not designed to always find a solution that is best suited for us, so seeking someone who has a professional background in mental health, and especially pertaining to anxiety will allow you to get the answers you need and deserve. Sometimes its easier to share our thoughts with someone we have absolutely no relations with.

 Professionals have the resources and knowledge that will help you overcome this. Whether they prescribe medications that might help or, a simple plan that will help with your specific needs, follow it with an open mind and see how you feel.  Whoever you feel most comfortable sharing your thoughts with, I advise you to seek that person out and express yourself. Remember there's nothing wrong with asking for help!


Well, there you have it, folks! 3 Self-Soothing Tips When Anxiety Takes Over. Whether you chose to try and practice these tips or not, or have self-soothing outlets of your own, remember the goal is to feel better! If you decide to try out one of the tips listed above, feel free to shoot me an email on how you've progressed and are feeling.

My email is: Kseniyarussau138@gmail.com

"Smile, breathe, and go slowly."- Thich Nhat Hanh

Momma To Be Update

I always appreciate the love and views when it comes to you reading my blogs, so thank you! I noticed I get more views on my writings involving my pregnancy journey thus far, so each time I come back from the doctors I'll be blogging! Today I am 19 weeks 1 day which is equivalent to 5 months! According to Google, if you're not familiar with the weeks in a pregnancy, pregnancy lasts up to 40 weeks, a little over 9 months. They don't track your pregnancy by month but by weeks.

This morning I had a doctor's appointment to check on my little one and she's doing amazing! She weighs almost a pound already, its crazy to think! Everything else looks amazing as well! Every time the doctor sees me, he always applauds how well I've been doing in taking care of myself and my little one. I am so blessed to be healthy as for my little angel as well!

By now you can clearly see I don't have a flat tummy anymore nor does it look so bloated! I laugh because it looks like a mixture of bump and beer belly lol. I used to be so self-conscious when I first started to show because I am carrying so low! Babys' head is resting just above my uterus and her feet are right where my belly button is! The doctor said that's amazing for when I give birth, but that won't be for another 4 and a half months! I'm hoping soon, my little low bump will start to round out or as they say "pop." I was disappointed for a while because I really didn't start showing until last week.

 I follow a few pregnancy groups on Facebook and I see all these other mom-to-be with their beautiful rounded bellies, and here I am with a low belly that just looks like a huge muffin top lol! I had to learn though not to compare myself to anyone because we're all different! Some women show sooner than others, others round faster and that's perfectly okay! I had to keep reassuring myself soon I will have that rounded firm belly, but to love the process that I'm in now and not to wish it away.

Now that I'm further along, I have felt my little one move a lot! At night when Pablo's asleep, I'll talk to my baby and ask her to move for me! I try and talk to her as much as I can, mostly talking with my mind lol, but every time I think of her or ask her for a little kick, she never disappoints! Pablo has felt her kick a few times too and he's super excited, I am so grateful for the 2 of them and how we are going to be a little family in just a few months!

 I try not to waste my days by thinking of my due date but, sometimes I catch myself dreaming of how she's going to look like when she comes out, how I will feed her and play with her, and never take my eyes off of her. I already love her so much, I make sure to tell her every day! I've heard great benefits if you talk to your baby inside the womb so I try and make it a habit! I ask Pablo every morning to talk to her too because apparently at the stage that I am in, she can pick up sound and, she will recognize the voices she heard from when she was in the womb when she's finally here!

I am just so blessed and thank god every day for this miracle! I never expected my wish to become a mom would happen so soon but I always say, its God's timing not ours. I can't thank my partner enough for how much he has supported me since we first started off in this journey together till now. We have grown so much individually and as a couple and forever I am grateful for someone who is not afraid of change, and has helped me in tremendous ways!

Like I said in my last post in regards to relationships, Relationships Are Key, who you have in your corner is so important. Those people will either help you grow or stunt it. Choose people who choose you and, who are willing to work on themselves in order to become more successful, happier, whatever it is.

Thank you all who have continued to read my blogs and have wished me well. You are loved, you are divine, and you are blessed! I will continue to periodically blog about my pregnancy journey as I get further along.

"A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty."- Author Unknown

Personal Development During Quarantine

Now that we all aren't on such a restricted lockdown, and let's all pray COVID19 will soon be something of the past, I wanted to discuss the time we all had during the quarantine. Whether you took full advantage if you do not have kids or anyone to look after to sleep your days away and Netflix binge all night or to meditate, get creative in any aspect you like. Whatever you did during these long months, I hope it was beneficial.

I know for a lot of people this was a tough and anxiety-ridden time.  At the beginning of March when all of this COVID talk was up in the air, Pablo and I were in the process of moving out. I had just started training for a new job but unfortunately, they decided to cancel due to the spread of the virus.

I was so nervous wondering how we were going to pull off this move, along with if we had the necessary finances to make such a move. Thank god my anxiety didn't get too much of the best of me because everything worked out! The lovely universe always blesses me and just shows me each time to have faith and not worry!

Fast forward, we moved into a beautiful apartment and decided to lock ourselves in for a while. It was perfect timing looking back because we had a beautiful place to ourselves and a week and a half after we moved in, that's when I found out I was pregnant! I mean talking about the timing right?! But it's all in God's timing and in my book, he's the one with the plan.

Enough about me though, let's dive right in!! Before COVID happened, were you already on the self-development path? When I refer to the term personal development, I mean anything that will get you closer to reaching your goals, becoming a better person on a mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and financial level, disciplining yourself, etc.

Your definition of personal development can be different than mine in terms of how and what you do in order to accomplish your dreams but the direction you are heading is to better your life in any way. Did you listen to motivational compilation? Meditational music? Anything type of music or motivational group that will get you up from your desk, and on your way to smashing your goals!

If you weren't, and that's totally okay whatever pace you go is entirely up to you, but as long as you are bettering yourself, that's what matters the most.  During quarantine, I spoke to a few people who said they have used this time to dive deeper into their spirituality whether it be meditating more or using this space to focus solely on themselves.

I think this time was the most beneficial because it allows us not to have many distractions such as work, social life and really allows us to utilize this time to work on ourselves. We've always listened to motivational compilation every day before work, but now we listen to it more frequently and, we had listened to a 10-day program of Napoleon Hills teachings. We would have never had the time to come across such juicy information if not staying up late, binge-watching videos on Youtube lol!

Ultimately it's on you when you decide to focus on yourself and your dreams, but let me tell you, hopefully, we will never have a pandemic that requires a lockdown again, so this time could have been utilized for your benefit. I can't make you do or see anything you're not ready to, but someday if you're not already on your path to self-development, I suggest you start! and remember as well folks, it's never too late to start!

"You never fall until you stop trying."