You Are Your First Priority

If you've ever been on an airplane before, we all have heard "put your oxygen masks on first before you help someone else." I mean think about it... how can you help the next person if you're struggling to breathe? You either have very strong lungs or before you know it time will be running out! But either way my friends, we need to learn or have not already done so put ourselves first before anyone else. 

I've always been someone who loved to help others, anytime someone needed something, I would be there in a jiffy helping out or, just a shoulder to cry on. I always felt special in those cases because I felt people could rely on me in times of need. 

I've always been an Empath and so being the hero for people was my thing. I've always been the "pillow" as my boyfriend says, until one day we discussed this topic and I shared with him my experiences with people, and when it was my turn to cry, either people forgot who I was or, their phone was on "do not disturb" when I had called. 

I got so used to that feeling that I became numb when I would try and express myself and shut down. I continued to be a blanket, a doormat, pillow however you want to call it for years until I realized that I couldn't allow such behavior. Thank god professional help and therapy has always been a thing in my life, so I didn't feel entirely alone when I was going through my ish. 

My biggest struggle was becoming my number one priority and learning to say no. I had always allowed others to come first, and mentally thought that they would return the favor but people don't work like that. If you have been in the position that I am referring to then you know exactly how it feels. When you finally wake up from the bubble, you have to immediately work on yourself. 

Work on that part of you that doesn't feel worthy enough to become your number one! I still struggle with it today, but I now have a grip on myself and I am slowly learning how to express myself in times I feel I am not being heard or used up. It takes time and patience with yourself, but folks we need to develop that soul connection with ourselves. 

How many times have you preached to others that they shouldn't allow others to come first before them, but you're not taking your own advice?! I know I can raise my hand! I used to PREACH that all the time, but I never could look myself in the mirror and say it. It wasn't until I realized that I ALLOWED myself to become second in my life, that I had to make the switch. 

Now that I am pregnant and only have a few months left, I am making sure everyday me and, my little one inside of me and, my Pablo come first. Once she comes into this world, all the focus and attention will be on her, but learning to love me more and more every day, words of affirmation, developing healthy habits, and continuing on the righteous path, that's what it is all about right now. 

I want all of you every day to take an hour for yourself. Even if you think you can't or "don't have the time", by the way, stop telling yourself you don't have the time for you because you do! It an excuse you've been telling yourself every day so you don't have to focus on yourself. But my friends, take an hour each day, either in the morning, afternoon or once the sun goes down to practice some self-care, and "me" time. 

Whether it's drawing yourself a nice bath, drinking your favorite glass of wine, or sitting outside by yourself and admiring nature. Sit with yourself for an hour and think about all the great things you bring to yourself and others! Fill yourself up with so much self-love every day and I promise you the next time someone asks you for a favor, but you know in the back of your mind you shouldn't be engaged with them, you will be able to tell them with confidence NO without the need for an explanation! 

I used to be horrible at saying no. Saying no to people made me feel so guilty, but now I take back my power and think to myself "I don't have to do anything I don't want to do" and remember this, no is a complete sentence. Learn not to explain yourself to anyone. If it's friends or family that have your best interest at heart, then yes if you feel the need to explain, go ahead but anyone else no is all they should get without you feeling guilty for not explaining. 

The bottom line is folks, you need to set some healthy boundaries for yourself and for others. Don't feel afraid to express those boundaries as well! When people understand your limits, they will know when to seize off. You only have one of you. 

"Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have."