Communication Is Key

 

When I first started writing blogs I knew I wanted to write to inspire others to go out and become the best version of themselves. A lot of my posts have to do with spirituality and effortlessly transforming yourself, but as I dive more into the self-development world, I noticed I wanted to tackle some topics that will help people such as increasing confidence, the value behind a routine, etc. In my personal opinion self-development and spirituality go hand in hand.  The goal behind the two is to be a better person mainly for yourself and others so why not intertwine them both?!

For those reading my blogs who their beliefs are different from another higher power and are not into spirituality that's totally okay, but I hope to inspire you when it comes to the self-development topics I write about. Think of me as your free mentor:) Now without further a due let's jump right in! 

Think about how many times you wanted to approach someone but that little voice inside of your head held you back! Imagine if you had spoken with that person where your life might be different today. I know I have missed many chances of talking with people that I haven't seen since due to my fear of either rejection or lack of confidence. But folks in order to get by in this world, we need to communicate! We need to put ourselves out there and network. 

I just finished the book Convince Them In 90 Seconds * Or Less by Nicholas Boothman.  First thing's first, that is an excellent book if you're in the sales field, any type of business field as well as just in your everyday life. Nicholas gives you a variety of tips on how to get people to feel more comfortable around you, learning how to make a more meaningful connection in all areas of your life, work, and personal. In one segment of the book, he discusses the importance of communication.

 I don't want to give it away because I highly recommend you all read it, but in summary, communication is what lands you a lot of opportunities in your life. Networking, getting out there, and just having simple conversations with people can open so many doors for you. Learning how to effectively communicate with people with all sorts of personalities will be your key to success. Be open to any discussions and you never know what might be in store for you! 

I am both an introvert and an extrovert but more extroverted as the years pass on by. I wasn't always like this though, I shared in a few of my blogs I was very shy growing up especially around people I did not know. Sometimes I would even keep conversations very short due to my fearfulness of getting judged, as well I didn't want to say the wrong thing. I hated talking on the phone as well, forget it!

My mom always made me order food over the phone in order to combat my fear of tongue-twisting my words due to nervousness and thank you mom because now I would say communication is one of my strongest points as an individual. I put myself out there and every job since I was a teen, I have to converse with people all day every day. But my friends, it was a skill I had to learn and still learning every day. 

Maybe communication isn't one of your strongest traits or maybe it is, but the main point is communication is key in your everyday life. Think about many times you talk to people in a day, whether be at work, a hobby, or an activity you are involved in, you are conversing so much you do it unconsciously! 

 Let me make you think for a second.. when you communicate to people, whether it be someone you're close with or a potential client, how are you delivering your message? With a smile on your face or an angry tone? Is your message clear enough for the other person to understand? We might think our communication is impeccable but remember our energy places a big role in the message that we are delivering to the receiver. Next time you talk with someone, just keep what I said in mind and be aware of your tone, your energy, and your speech.

Communicating will always play an important role in your life. Remember it is the gateway to our successes, opportunities, lasting relationships, and friendships! 

"The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives."- Anthony Robbins 

3 Secret Sauce Tips When You Feel Like Giving Up

In my last blog, I shared the importance of not quitting. We have all quit something in our lives that maybe we regret now but this post is not to have you reminisce. I wanted to share with all of you my 3 secret sauce tips.  It's not easy committing to some things in our lives. Whether it's your job, sometimes your kids get under your skin, that goal you have been working on for years, whatever is that makes you want to pull out all of your hair and say "screw it' please my friends I have come to the rescue!

Now I am not a professional by any means in this department, these are just some of my personal tips that have prevented me from throwing in the towel on anything that I found myself second-guessing if I should have done in the first place. So without further a due folk's let's get started!

1. Knowing Your WHY! 
Folks it is key to know your why, more importantly having a why when it comes to committing to a goal. Ask yourself these questions, who are you doing this for? Are you doing this for yourself or your family? Why are you doing it? How will you feel once you complete your goal? How would you feel if you quit right now? Would you regret it later? Asking yourself those crucial questions when you're feeling stuck in a rut about continuing or giving up. 

Answer them honestly and if you find yourself knowing you will instantly regret giving up on your task later, save yourself that emotional pain and keep pushing forward! I tell you, working on your goals even when you feel like you've been a hamster on a wheel for some time now and not getting anywhere, you are! Small steps towards any goal or project are the best way to succeed and not give up.

Knowing why you're doing it in the first place is another important tool. If you're committing to a goal for yourself, think about the end result, you're going to feel ecstatic that you completed whatever it is you're working on! When you complete a goal, more likely you will want to keep feeling that same emotion, whatever positive feeling you get when you complete your goals, start feeling that way NOW!

2. Finding A New Direction

You've been working on a project for some time now and all of a sudden it blows up in your face. You start punching the air and cursing up a storm, you're ready to give up arent you? But let me ask you, how many times have you "failed" at something, turned that around and veered a new a direction, and come to find out your new plan was successful in whatever it was. Just think to yourself, if you never tried a different way, how would you have known it would have worked? 

 Imagine your child learning how to walk for the first time, they kept falling and stumbling and they decided "maybe this isn't for me?" Imagine how many people would not be walking today if they had that type of mentality!

 So the next time you "fail" at something just think back to when you were a little cute baby learning how to walk for the first time and tell yourself " if I could have fallen on my face 100 times back then and not give up on myself, then I certainly should not do it now!" My friends, you are not always going to get it right on the first try and that's okay! Decompress your mind the next time you are attempting something for the second, third time, and know that eventually all of the dots will connect. 

3. Patience, Patience, PATIENCE

I know how antsy I get when I have been working on something for a long time and I don't see immediate results. I have been working as an Insurance Agent for almost a month now full time and let me tell you, folks, the last few weeks have been rough. My work ethic was there, my confidence when it came to dialing increased tremendously as well as the activity but I noticed I was not making any sales yet! Boy was I getting frustrated! I told myself last week though, that everything will be okay. Even though I wasn't making sales yet, my activity was there and eventually, my hard work will pay off. I had to practice being patient with the process as well as myself. 

I know how frustrating it can be when you've been working consistently and you haven't seen the ramifications yet of your hard work but I promise you folks, when you do you will laugh at yourself for how impatient you were. Even though we don't always see the progress we're making, when we look back and notice how far we've come that's when we realize all of the small and big steps we took.  You will not see results overnight but just know each time you take a step in the right direction you are farther than where you were! 

Breathe in and out when you feel that itching sensation that you are not doing anything, and speak positivity into yourself! Words of affirmation and listening to motivational compilations especially when you feel anxious will boost you up. Tony Robbins is one of my favorite speakers and has many messages regarding being patient that you can find on Youtube.  Remember my friends, baby steps not sprints:)

I hope these tips will help you reach the level of success I know you can acquire. Remember to always have patience and do not burn yourself out. Knowing the why when completing or working on whatever it is you want in the first place will continue the momentum and if it doesn't go as planned, change the direction! 

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." - Confucius 

Don't Quit!

 

For the past few nights, we have been watching a lot of motivational youtube videos regarding our career path. I can't lie folks, sales is difficult but it's one of those great challenges! Every day you learn more and more about people and most importantly yourself! Anyone who's in a career field that requires them to interact with all kinds of people, I think you can resonate with what I'm saying. You learn the tricks of the trade, how to be more extroverted, and how to make people feel more comfortable when you talk with them. I've been in the sales field on and off for a few years now.  

When I was 16 I worked for a wholesale club Costco selling any products they offered me. From food to beauty products to toothbrushes, there I was making sure these items were being taken home and used on a daily. 

I remembered I loved it because it really brought me out of my shell. I like to think of myself as an introvert, extrovert. I love talking to people whom I feel comfortable with but back then talking to a stranger?! Never! Once I started working, that's when I had to get out of that mentality and put my charismatic attitude to good use. Working at a young age and especially working in jobs that required me to speak with strangers on a daily really helped me develop my communicational skills as well as personality. 

I started working as an insurance agent a few weeks ago. I knew I had the personality and background for it, I thought why not? Perfect opportunity to grow even more! Not to mention, I work alongside my partner and that makes it even more special! We got through the grueling process of the tests, the paperwork, now its been game time! Last few weeks I had so much anxiety when it came to speaking on the phone with prospects. 

I knew it all had to do with the fear of rejection, not to mention my pregnancy has been making me extra emotional, so every "NO" or hang up I received felt like a punch to the gut, but after watching motivational videos, sales training and most importantly listening to Tony Robbins religiously every day, sometimes even twice a day! I had finally realized not to take it personally! Now like I mentioned, I have been in sales for a few years, I knew I'd get those not so friendly people, the hang-ups you name it, but sometimes when you don't expect it, that's when you feel the rejection the most. 

I've been telling myself for the past few days, to not give up! Don't quit, don't quit, don't quit Kseniya!" I literally tell myself before I get on the phone and start dialing. I even wrote on a sticky note and put it on my wall beside me so just in case I had someone not so nice, I knew I couldn't allow that energy to affect the rest of my performance. 

It's easy to give up or quit. We've all done it in some areas of our lives. We had a rule in my house growing up that if you involved yourself in a hobby or sport, that you were not to give up. Mom always said, "The Rousseaus do not quit." It's stuck with me ever since then. I promise you my friends when you feel that intense emotion to quit, that's when its crucial to push yourself even further! 

One of the confidence videos I was watching, the narrator was explaining how our brains are more likely to think of something negative than positive due to our survival instincts, we consciously and unconsciously try to protect ourselves from danger, and in a lot of cases, our brain interprets quitting as protecting us, when in all actuality that's when we need to tell ourselves "keep going."

 I'm sure you all have been in a situation where something felt impossible, maybe you have been working on something for months, even years and you can't seem to find that perfect missing link so you feel its in your best nature to give up, but if you just keep going you know eventually you will get that "AH HA" moment! The lightbulb always goes on, it may not be on your terms but I tell you, if you stay consistent enough and keep trying 17 times, 17 different ways, eventually you will have what it is you are looking for. 

Consistency is the best way to keep yourself from falling off the success wagon. People quit because they believe that little voice inside their head that tells them "this is too hard" or they don't try and look for other solutions. Trust me its easy to try something once and say "Nah, I quit" but what if that same thing landed you 5 million dollars or your dream relationship, house whatever it is? 

I could've easily quit writing my blogs after finding out I was pregnant, landing a job that requires a lot of my attention but I know I have the willpower to keep going. Not to mention I love blogging for all of you and myself. I may not blog as frequently as I did but the big picture is I did not give up. Think of all the times in your life where something may have been super difficult or you were demanded a lot and didn't think you could juggle it all, whatever that challenge might have been but you stayed persistent and were rewarded in some way for it later. 

Just think, if you quit, would you be where you are today? Would you be so successful and I know you all are! (your own definition of success) if you decided to give up? No so think of those times the next time you feel like pulling the rug up from beneath you! Just think how great you feel about yourself when you DONT quit! I bet you feel like a million bucks! Well, let's keep that high energy consistent.

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."- Thomas Edison 

You Are Either Growing Or Dying!

 

Now that it is already September, here we are again in a new chapter of our lives! Let me start off by asking a few questions... Did you accomplish any of your short-term goals in the month of August? Did you learn something new? Maybe a new hobby or a trade that will lead you in a positive direction? How creative were you? How often did you work on yourself? Now when I ask the question in regards to self-improvement, I want to know if you changed anything about yourself, whether it be becoming more active, reading more frequently, you catch my drift. 

We never stop and ask these questions to ourselves now do we? I know for a majority of my life, I never stopped and asked myself if I was improving, I was on autopilot mode for so long when I finally came up and breathed fresh air for the first time, it clicked! I had to ask myself every day, how can I become better than I was yesterday? What can I do differently next time? We all know we can't go back and change our past, but with the lessons that we received thus far in our lives, we can use those as opportunities to heighten ourselves in any shape or form.  

Today's topic I wanted to discuss why growth is essential and "just doing it" will bring you nothing but success and joy in your life from this day forward! When we finally stop putting the blame on other people for their mistakes, the rain that soaked your brand new suit because you forgot to check the weather before heading out, our sky will become a lot prettier to look at. 

I share in almost every blog post of mine that every morning I listen to a motivational speaker whether it be Les Brown, Tony Robbins, or Zig Ziglar, and even if its the same message from the day before I am always nodding my head and thinking to myself, what can I take from today's message and apply it to my own life or a particular area? Ladies and gents that question has become a game-changer for me. When I started asking those small questions, I noticed the shift in my attitude, my emotions, the way my brain would process outside information. I started realizing that even if its raining cats and dogs, I can still have an awesome day because I chose it to be that way! I am taking personal responsibility for my own happiness. 

Many times our happiness depends on outside circumstances or people, but folks we all know deep down we need to create that. There's no better way of doing that other than being responsible for self. We are responsible for the energy we give off, our emotions and thoughts, and the only way to become successful is by leaving those lame excuses you keep telling yourself behind and start putting in the work, whatever it is you're trying to obtain. When we become responsbile for one self, this is where we start to see the growth and change. 

I'm in sales and let me tell you its such a great learning experience because every day I have the power to either amaze myself in my growth, or choose fear from calling prospects to hinder my growth. It always comes down to two decisions in your life my friends, you just need to get hungrier enough to feed the enlightened path rather than the dark one.  I used to hate talking on the phone. Put me in front of people and I will have everyone laughing or smiling, but its something about the phone that gets my anxiety going! 

When I become an insurance agent a month ago, I knew this is exactly what I needed and wanted! I wanted the flexibility to work from home since our daughter will be born in just 3 months and continue to work from home once she's born, as well as needed this opportunity to fuel my higher self and become better for mysef and growing family. I knew I had to call people, sometimes cold calling depending on the type of lead I provided myself with but let me tell you folks, its been a journey so far! 

The first few weeks were tough, Id make excuses to myself on why I wasn't putting in the dials, but one day I had to get honest with myself and realize if I wanted to make this work, I had to push through this fear to get to the big bucks! It wasn't easy but I had to take the initiative and realize I won't be getting anywhere if I don't make the calls. I have been listening to some juicy sales experts on youtube that have helped me grasp my anxiety and have allowed me to maintain it. 

My partner Pablo is amazing and pushes me every day in the right direction, after every call we make,we discuss what we thought the other could have done better on, what we need to work on for future calls, and of course lifting each other up for the hard work we've put in. Self-growth isn't easy but when you're surrounded by people who want to grow as well, it makes the process a lot more enjoyable and keeping each other accountable is the cherry on top when it comes to being successful in my opinion. 

We often let our fears take over and eventually quit whatever we're doing it.This is where we slowly start to die mentally and emotionally. Think about how many times youve quit but felt miserable about it. Its you knowing you should have justt kept pushing through but thats okay, we all make mistakes, but learning from those mistakes will lead you in the right direction. 

Maybe rejection is a big thing for you, or you're too critical on yourself, whatever you're telling yourself that allows you to stop doing what you set out to do, you need to turn off that little monkey brain that keeps telling you, you are not good enough and realize that you are one step closer than where you were before! Think about it, most people don't even start on a project because they already talked themselves out of it in fear of failing, but once you take that first step your goal is more reachable. 

The bottom line folks, you are either growing or dying! It's that black and white. I know that may sound a bit harsh but I'm here to motivate you guys to go after your goals whether big or small in your eyes, if you have a vision you need to make it into reality! Think about it, you would never vision something you didn't think was possible, so once you start applying that to your every day you will see much improvement in the way you comprehend things. 

As Les Brown says "The graveyard is the richest place on earth because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem or determined to carry out their dream."

 Don't be one of those people folks, continue to grow and evolve as we are all meant to do!